Confused wife of CD looking for help understanding it all
Hello! I’m fairly new to all this but I hope to be able to get some light after sharing my story.
About 3 years ago, as I was pregnant with our first kid, I found a stash of dildos, lingerie and wigs hidden in a closet. I had no idea what to think about it but I waited until my spouse got home and I asked him. He then told me he enjoyed dressing up and that it was something he had done since a very young age. I accepted it and asked for some time to think about it, and eventually asked him to trow it all away if it was something he could live without, he said he was fine and that he didn’t really needed it. I made sure to let him know that I did not want to change him, and if it was something he really wanted we could have deeper conversations and find a middle ground.
Anyways, fast forward to today… I‘m currently pregnant with our second and he is working a very stressful job with a 5-6h commute everyday. In the past 3-4 months our sex life is basically non-existent, I’ve tried to pleasure him but then he would not touch me back. I thought that maybe if he got back into his CD he would relieve some of the stress and be able to be present in bed again, so I told him that I would be fine if he wanted to get back into CD, which he did. But he continued to not have any libido to even touch me, and I few days ago i caught him chatting with someone on Reddit. He first lied saying it was a coworker but I knew it wasn’t, so I waited until next day and asked him to tell me the whole truth, which then he said he was talking about some fantasies that he has but would not tell me more than that. He says he is trying to figure it out himself but I don’t know if I’m being selfish for wanting him to share and talk to me, since we are married and sex is part of it. Since he doesn’t open up to me I can’t say what I’m comfortable with or if I’m willing to try anything because I don’t really know what are these feelings he has. I was also able to see that he is in a community for sissies but because I don’t understand much I’m very lost.
Sorry for the long post but I hope I can get some opinions from people that have been to similar situations. Thank you!