Sibling is sober and the relationship is still strained
Hi all,
I’m wondering if anyone else can relate to this. My little brother (30m) has been an addict for the last 12 years of his life. He got sober last year and has been going to meetings and sticking to his sobriety which is great. However, i’m realizing that the more that his personality, underneath all the years of drug use, gets uncovered, he still has a very self-centered ‘me me me’ type of mentality. When he was using we remained somewhat close and had several blow out fights related to him using but somehow always reconnected and found a way to be in each others lives. He definitely still had the entire world revolve around him and in our family he was forsure the identified patient. However, now that he’s sober I guess i hoped and imagined that the best qualities of him would start to emerge and we would be closer bc now the drugs weren’t the thing between us so to speak. I realize more and more that he has a lot of trouble being a normal adult meaning his social skills are incredibly poor, he has a lot of self-loathing and shame that comes out as prickliness towards me even tho I have been the most loving and supportive family member. Despite that he still seeks the most validation from the two people in our family that were the cruelest to him during the heights of his addiction.
Curious if anyone can relate or can offer some guidance.