Am I a bad person?
I am in a relationship with my partner from past 5 years. They are poly but I have always been a monogamous person. I tried this poly lifestyle just to be able to understand them better, but the kind of people I am meeting are not good enough (prolly cause I already met the loml, and nothing else seems to match that level). My partner has found someone who is a nice person, I am happy for them but also extremely jealous. To overcome this jealousy, I make sure I also go out on dates, and trying to seek the same what she has found.
I know there are other ways of keeping myself distracted, I have tried all of that but the only thing that has helped me is going on dates myself.
It is not healthy because I get frustrated when I meet wrong people, and I don’t want to be in the same loop of finding, talking and meeting new people, its exhausting but I also don’t know how to overcome this jealousy. Why do I feel that it’s a competition?