Need advice on how to support my struggling trans and autistic teen
Hey there, so grateful this sub exists, so thanks to all of you who kindly read and answer all these questions from those of us trying to learn and do better.
My autistic 19yo (amab) came out to us as a trans woman this past December and started hormones shortly thereafter. My partner, her three siblings, and I all supported her immediately. However, I am just getting increasingly concerned about her and would like advice.
Although I am happy for her to start hormones and do whatever she feels is the correct direction to feel better in her body, I am concerned about how there is pretty much zero support provided along with the estrogen she was prescribed from PP. She is also on an SSRI, and it just feels like it would make sense to have some kind of consistent mental health support from someone who understands her gender identity and also autism.
The concern wouldn't be there if I felt like she was thriving, but she is really struggling. She is currently in community college and was doing well up until recently. Although we pay for everything, including school, she really wants to be independent, but struggles with autistic burnout pretty frequently (not sure she realizes that's what it is, she's not always open to talk about things) and hasn't been able to hold any job for more than a few months. She's been having more and more anxiety attacks and becoming less and less able to handle even the smallest demands. She is happy to sit in her room and game with online friends all day, which I don't mind, but I can tell that it's starting to get very isolating and not aligned with the goals she has told us she has for her future. And honestly, she just doesn't seem happy at all, which breaks my heart.
To get to the point, I wanted to know if anyone had suggestions on what direction to go for help. I am worried about just trying to find a regular mental health professional, and wondering how important it is for them to be informed on gender identity/hormone therapy. It feels like it will be near impossible to find someone who understands the trans struggles on top of the autism. I've also thought about trying to start a local trans meetup group, but we live in the midwest and I'm scared of the negative attention it might get if I tried to advertise for it.
Sorry this is long and kind of all over the place, but I really want to help her and have just been so overwhelmed trying to decide which direction to go. All thoughts and advice are welcome!
Thanks so much.