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u/Snoo-96047

▲ 15 r/BiWomen

How to deal with women who pretend to be straight at your expense.

You know the ones.

They bask in the attention when you hit on them. They mention previous romantic histories with at least one woman when you try to reassure them that they're plenty queer enough to be flirting with you. They give you mixed signals EVEN THOUGH you specifically asked them to clarify and be direct if they're not interested.

Next thing you know they've thrown you under a bus and painted you as a sex pest just so that they can stay in the closet to any bystanders who still believe they're "straight".

These bystanders of course walk away pegging whoever made the first move as the "depraved bisexual/psycho lesbian" trope.

So all you can do is apologise vicariously for the "misunderstanding" (unless you want to out said flirtee to such people) and say "I can now see that she's not into me" EVEN IF she clearly wasn't complaining at the time (at least not directly to you anyway.)

At first I actually thought this was all my fault. It's really made me reconsider ever putting myself out there again. Just not worth the risk.

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u/Snoo-96047 — 2 days ago
🔥 Hot ▲ 162 r/BiWomen

Even if Perry is guilty of this, associating her actions with a generalisation of "male-attracted women" could do more harm than good.

Of course, many of us (including myself) have also experienced sexual violence FROM women in addition to men.

Rose's story seems plausible to me for that reason. (Particularly in the case of a woman who married Russell Brand yet apparently had no concerns about his behaviour during or after it.) But the wording of this looks like an excuse to jump on the big old biphobia bandwagon, which in turn increases our risk of being targeted for gender based violence that we are already disproportionately suffering from.

What say you...?

u/Snoo-96047 — 7 days ago