u/Slow_Dance6887

I know divorce is frowned upon, especially within the church, but hear me out.

Many posts on this subReddit are about a dead bedroom or no sex drive from your significant other or not feeling loved or wanted in the bedroom etc. Why stay in the relationship if your partner is not fulfilling their half of a very important part of a marriage relationship because of lack of want or desire? If a husband was to tell his wife that he was not hungry and expected her not eat as well we would call him out for being controlling and abusive. Is this not the same?

Sex and intimacy are a very important part of any marriage. Very seldomly do you feel closer to your spouse than when you are intimate with each other. Why do you think it’s so unforgivable when a husband or wife go outside the marriage and sleeps with someone else? Because it’s one of the few things that we are taught should be only between husband and wife. If your partner is not fulfilling your physical and sexual needs then in my personal opinion they are not keeping their part of the marriage covenant. I didn’t say sexual fantasies, I said needs.

I understand staying married because of the covenants you made or because you have children together but where do you draw the line. How much resentment do you let build up between your spouse and yourself because these needs are not being meet? What happens when the kids all move out and all that resentment is still there? Divorce isn’t going to be any easier on anyone just because your kids are adults and you’re in your 40s and 50s.

I’m not saying divorce is the only option but why is it not okay to tell your spouse “this is what I need, or I can’t see us having a successful marriage”? I know that nobody wants to hear that from their husband or wife isn’t hearing that better than finding out you were cheated on? Let’s not forget that in the BOM it says “men (and women) are that they might have joy”! Marriages with a healthy sex life are usually happy ones.

Just my thoughts and opinion.