of course I will take it to a professional. I was just gonna show them my drawing but i just like to be able to imagine and think on my tattoos for as long as possible and dont want to have artists drawing up ideas for me and have me potentially not like them.
So here's some backstory. I (26F) have been friends with this person (I will call her Abby. 30F) for about 11 years. the age gap between us was never really an issue except when she was 21+ and i wasn't 21 yet. she went out with friends from work to bars i couldn't go to. I was hurt and felt abandoned bc she barely hung out with me, but we got over it. we regularly would hang out in many different ways. Usually, we would go out somewhere like a park and hang out.
Things changed a bit after she had 2 kids, but we would still go out sometimes, we definitely stayed at her place a lot more to watch her kids. especially when they were younger. They are 5&6 now, and the 6 y/o has pretty severe autism which came out more in these recent years
At some point, especially within the last year, she started constantly canceling on me. I got fired from a job back in July 2025 and was doing a lot of odd jobs and stuff to make any money, but i told her i could hang out during the day. she said she would let me know, and then I would hear nothing. I filtered through a few bad jobs before finding the job I have now. I had a lot of learning to do and was a bit overwhelmed with my work. I do more jobs than just the job at my work, so I am busy and overwhelmed a lot.
This cycle started where I would tell her when i am available, and she would say she would "let me know." now there were a handful of times she let me know she was ready but it was past 9pm. my husband and I share 1 car (she is aware of that) and I have to pick him up from work at 9:30pm. So then i would have to "cancel" on her. I have always been understanding bc being a mom seems hard, and there's a reason I am not choosing motherhood right now.
So fast forward to April, and I had a gig booked on her bday. I didn't really pay attention to the date, and it didn't even click to me that the event took place on her bday until the next day. I was 1 day late telling her happy birthday. She has been telling me for a while she has 0 energy to hang out, so I was giving her space, which is probably a big reason I forgot. Most of my other friends will try to plan something, and thats the only way their bday even stays on my mind. I would never really expect anyone to remember my bday. She did remember to text me happy bday. She had kinda told weeks prior she would hang out with me, but ultimately, I did spend all day alone (my husband wasn't able to get the day off work). I said "well shes a mom," and moved on.
I told her happy bday 1 day late and then asked her if she wanted to go out, and she said no. She also had no energy for me to go over to her house. I ended up telling her I wanted to talk in my car because I wanted a safe space. She replied, asking me if I realized how offensive it was. I did not find HER home a safe space. I told her that I have a history of talking loudly and just wanted to have a chance to talk to her alone and without waking up her kids. She said that EVERYONE that comes over has to be reminded to be quiet. Which was not really the point I was trying to make, but I gave my side, and she replied, saying she feels like she lost her support system. I am just a person who was struggling to adjust and was always busy. in my head, it seemed like she wasn't making the effort. She said she was still hurt about her birthday, there isnt much more i can do about that except apologize again.
I told her to call me instead of texting me because sometimes when i am working, i get a lot of texts and accidentally swipe them away, but she never called me. She ended the conversation by saying she was too frustrated to talk, which I guess means she was just planning to keep attacking me?
Anyway, she blocked me. idk when on every social media person, and so I changed the passwords to the streaming services of mine that she uses, and I am already planning on getting our matching tattoo covered up. It's been maybe 3 days since the argument AIO?