Boyfriend doesn’t have major red flags but I don’t feel loved [24F] [27M]
Unprompted effort is something I’ve always wanted in a relationship and to me it’s easy because it’s something I do naturally. Making time, thinking of surprises, checking-in. Basic relationship things that separate how you treat your friend and how you treat your partner.
If you subtract the intimate physical affection, I start feeling like we are just good friends. I notice him with his best friend. He makes sure to include him in his daily routine. Constant updating, surprise visits, unprompted gifts without a special occasion, planning trips one on one, making sure he calls him every night.
Meanwhile I’m asking “when will we meet next?” I have to suggest a date time and activity for it to even happen. I have to call him and I tell him affectionate things. During our honeymoon stage, he couldn’t get enough. Constant calls, meeting every single day for months, etc. I thought this is just how it naturally decreases but to me it’s too much of a big withdrawal from what he used to do for me.
He’s a good guy. He loves his friends family etc. He does pay for dates but the initiation is practically non existent. Even for Valentine’s Day I had to ask if we will do anything.
I’m just getting tired and there’s no real reason for me to leave because I feel safe and happy whenever I’m with him. It’s when I have to put more effort and feeling like I’m the only one who wants to see him that makes me feel so sad.
I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do. I’m physically and mentally attracted to him but I feel like a man with all the planning. I’m not even a planner, I feel forced to or else we won’t meet.
TL;DR I need to feel more romance and unprompted initiation from my boyfriend