Is this it?
My husband’s depression has been a focal point of our household for around a year. It comes and goes and he says is mostly situational (he is extremely unhappy with work) but it puts this huge layer of doom and gloom over our entire household. If it were just me I could try to muddle through but our son can visibly tell when Dad is sad, shut down and disengaged. I don’t know how to keep being the happy one for him and covering for his Dad’s emotional disconnection. I also am really tired of not getting support. I go to therapy and do a lot in my community and have a great personal and professional life with a lot I am really proud of, yet this major aspect of our family is the underlying thread that’s a constant presence.
I’m recognizing that this is not a temporary thing. He will not seek help and becomes incredibly agitated if I bring it up. When he is good, he recognizes how unhealthy it is but I have a hard time expressing to him what it’s doing to our family without it seeming like “poor me, you’re depressed” you know?
If you’ve dealt with this long term and supported a partner for years and years, how have you managed to care for them, yourself and your family?