u/Sheikhonderun

Once, Muadh (rad) led a long prayer in which he recited Surah Baqarah. A man left the prayer and offered his prayer separately. When Muadh (rad) learned of it, he called the man a hypocrite.

That man went to the Prophet (saw) and said, “O Allah’s Messenger (saw)! We are people who work with our own hands and irrigate (our farms) with our camels. Last night Muadh led us in the night prayer and he recited Surah Baqarah, so I offered my prayer separately, and because of that, he accused me of being a hypocrite.”

The Prophet (saw) was very upset with Muadh (rad) and said thrice, “O Muadh! You are putting the people to trials?”
(Bukhari 6106)

Scholar Ibrahim Dewla commented:
The Prophet (saw) was very upset with Muadh (rad) despite once saying to Muadh (rad),
“By Allah, I love you.”
(Dawud 1522)

What can we learn from this narration?

Just because someone criticizes you doesn’t mean they hate you.

If the husband receives criticism, the first assumption shouldn’t be that the critic hates him.

Likewise, if the wife receives criticism, the first assumption shouldn’t be that the critic hates her.

People sometimes aspire to become influencers and readily offer advice on matters of marriage and relationships.

People pursue the privilege but forget that imparting advice and influencing others comes with great accountability.

The Prophets did not guide others out of a desire for recognition or fame; rather, they did so out of empathy seeking the success of people in this world and the Hereafter.

If our advice deviates from what Allah and the Prophet (saw) have said, then this would be a great misfortune.

Allah says:
“The day their faces will be turned about in the fire, they will say, ‘How we wish we had obeyed Allah and obeyed the Messenger.’”
(33:67)

People of hell will remember their influencers who misguided them:

“And they will say, ‘Our Lord! We obeyed our leaders and elite, but they led us astray from the right way.”
(33:68)

Each follower will say:
“Our Lord! Give them a double punishment and reject them completely.”
(33:68)

Scholar Umar Palanpuri (rah) commented, “Despite those leaders (influencers) having attained great social status in this world, they will have to endure significant horror in the hereafter.”

Incorrect advice is making marriage difficult, enabling abusive behavior and causing the breakdown of marriages.

People take great pride in the number of followers they have or how many people agree with what they say.

But if their advice is incorrect, that great number of followers will curse them in the hereafter.

They don't realize the greater the followers, the greater the curse.  

Excerpt from Tariq Jameel’s speeches and notes.

Every couple should know Surah Luqman. Because one day they will raise a family. Husband and wife will need to give their children the same advice that Luqman (as) did.

Luqman (as)'s advice is pertinent to the man and woman getting married. Because a teacher cannot teach someone what they themselves are not proficient in. How can this man and woman teach a child what they themselves don't know?

What is the first advice that Luqman (as) gave?

“O my son, do not associate [anything] with Allah. Indeed, association [with Him] is great injustice.” (31:13)

Our understanding of the oneness of Allah (tawhid) is reduced to theory rather than practical application. We might quote a classical scholarly text and deceive ourselves into thinking we have understood it.

If a person worships a ‘gold’ statue, it would be said they are associating partners and an idolator (mushrik).

But the same man or woman who believes that this gold or wealth will sustain me and nourish me, and that acquiring it will determine my happiness or sadness, considers this acceptable? That is to treat wealth as God.

The husband believes that the greater the acquisition of wealth, the more successful my family will be. Even the wife believes that the greater the acquisition of wealth, the more successful my family will be.

What ‘tawhid’ will they teach their children? They will instill ‘greed’ in the child from a young age.

All the father and mother care about is how my son or daughter becomes wealthy. It’s as if wealth alone, not Allah can provide security.

It’s as if our efforts will determine our sustenance. Not what Allah has fated for us. Don’t we reflect that, despite their efforts and resources, many kingdoms are no longer there?    

Yes, my child, we will make an effort for our sustenance. But no matter what happens, don’t disobey Allah.

If you displeased Allah, even if you gained the world, you lost everything.

We don’t instill in our children the priority of Allah’s consciousness (taqwa). My child, your greatest success is possessing ‘taqwa’ in your life.

Excerpt from Mufti Tariq Masood’s speeches and notes.

It’s becoming very common to be asked, I am in love. What should I do? She is not interested. Or the father is saying no. What should I do?

If you are able, propose to her and get married. If she says no, move on. That’s it.

The same applies to a girl—if he is serious, then marriage. If not, move on.

This is not to be dismissive as it’s human to feel sad.

But don’t try to make the purpose of your life ‘a love story.’

You are waiting for months, years for this so-called love. There is no need for that.  

Life is very short. Allah has created human being for an important purpose.

There are people whose parents paid for their education through a lot of difficulties. Those children ruined their education because they fell in love and were unsuccessful. Either she is not interested, or he is not interested; there is no reciprocation.

Education is important. But sometimes some people say they are going to get an education, but what they are doing at universities and colleges is anything but education.

Firstly, the reason people are obsessed with love is that they invest so much of their time i.e. their life in movies and songs about love.

What is the actual ‘intent’ of these movies and songs? The intent is to make money. How can we maximize viewers or listeners?

It’s done by exploiting and manipulating the individual’s emotions.

The director of the movie doesn’t care whether someone is alive or dead. They don’t even know you exist. They just care about how the movie breaks records and makes money.

If you’re upset that she married someone else, remember she will age and her beauty will fade. Ultimately, she will die one day.

If you are worried that he has married someone else, remember that he will also die one day.

Everyone speaks of the love story of Layla and Majnun. They also died. The questions in their grave won’t be about their love story.

Remember the Prophet (saw) said, “Be in this world as if you were a stranger or traveller.”
(Bukhari 6416)