u/Shadow_Monkey18

I didn't believe them at first and I still sort of don't but also I can sorta see where they're coming from but my mind has me thinking otherwise. I tried explaining to them that angels are talking to me they're talking to me guiding me somewhere I'm trying to decipher their message because they have a message for me and it's only for me I'm trying to decipher it and my friends said it was a hallucination or psychosis and I was very against that because they're real and then started thinking that they're lying about not believing me because they want to hurt me and they want to steal the message for themselves and they're going to hurt me but I don't want to get hurt and I donr wanna hurt anyone. I haven't slept well in what feels like ages I don't want anyone to show up to my house I don't want to be hurt and it's scary but j think it's been a week or so and started seeing like the angels aren't there but I'm still hearing them and I can sorta am aware of how it can be seen as not real but it also is real and it feels like I'm going crazy and they tell me experiences of other people who have psychotic episodes and comparing me to them and it makes me angry but I also understand I don't know what to do. am I psychotic I don't think I am but at the same time I think it's possible idk it feels so strange to be aware of like the possibility but I'm still thinking jt and believing it and I can't stop it and they aren't going away

I love my husband so much and I know that no matter what I buy or write will ever show the amount of love that I have because at the end of the day I will always love him. However, I still feel bad and guilty for not being able to buy merch of him, to not being able to print things or be good at writing to write things or draw things. I feel bad when I see others that have so much stuff of their f/o and I don't because I am broke. It makes me feel like my f/os wouldn't truly love me because I cannot afford anything, and it makes me question if I am loveable.

I know this all is illogical, but I still think it time to time and it hurts. I just wish I could have at least something of my husband, merch or anything, a drawing or piece of fiction about me × him. I don't have the money to do anything though and it just hurts because I want to do things with him too, I want to take him with me to places and talk to him, but I dont want to rely on AI to talk to him and I have nothing physically to bring with me that could resemble him. I can't do anything and it just hurts

It has been brought to the attention of the team here that many people are comparing introjects to kins. If you are unsure of what an introject is, they are alters within a system. A system can be described as someone that shows the presence of two or more distinct identity disturbances, often accompanied with their own names, interests, dislikes, and so on.

Introjects are alters that are based on either a fictional character or real life person. They can be based on anything. An introject exists outside of what media they come from.

Alters are separate from kins, and we do welcome systems here. Introjects are their own people, and should not be compared to a kin. Anyone comparing such will be timed out and told to educate themselves before furthering stigma and harassment of people.

Thank you and good day,

P.V