u/Serious_Material_928

EXERTION

Not so close, I know

4 interviews and Almost every mains (except sbi po)

But there is always one section that drags me to the rock bottom.

I reached the previous year's cut-off while struggling to reach the current year.

24M, It's been two years, I chose MBA in 2024, Thinking I'll manage both - cause I couldn't totally believe in myself and the surroundings where I studied.(Even at 🏡). The MBA is not CAT level - just normal one top govt University which has no placements but it gave me time to read. I did utilise my free time to upgrade my weaker quants, GA and Everything. I have no gf, Avg looks, Poor networking, Weak friendships and All pessimistic thinking - ever since the most expected ibps po and ibps clerk sabotaged my hope and manifestation🤧

Now, Currently in the final year Internship - where I get to pay 5k a month for 6 days a week, Toxic manager, Traveling 26 km in populated metropolitan city, Blasting my ears with headphones thinking what went wrong? Just WHY's fill me like anything.

The market is too weak for an MBA and I'm literally facing the level of exertion physically, Mentally with a little motivation that I may still crack it - But it hurts to think that I'm a failure till now...

To those who cleared after many hardships and people who have faced multiple near misses - How do you control these thoughts?

I m trying to be active,

Trying to be physically active a lot,

Trying to build up confidence.

But still I wanna hear some suggestions, As I'm about to enter that phase of Total Preparation Zone.

I liked this girl the moment I saw her - approached her through chats and progressively we became close. Later I found that she is older than me and all odds are against me, that Includes my family. I'm too mid in looks, but she is very pretty. Rendu perume romba humorous types - hence we vibe well. I thought she would ignore me after sometime - but over time we got close. like how couples would chat all day - bringing up contents from family, friends and gossip shit like that. And Saaptiya, Naal epdi pochu, If down - what happened? apdi, ipdinu edhana onnu pesitu rendu perume maari maari care pannitu than irupom - irukurom. Two of the guys approached her with feelings in stupid possible way and she just ranted about them with me stating that she is not interested in marriage/love thing. I never got the chance to confess how I feel about her - She wants me to win, I wish the same, we speak like that since failures is also one common thing among us. Enaku recently I m feeling guilty for not expressing and being honest with her. Maybe she would have found that, En kadhaya keta ellarume adha soldranga - kandipa she knows How I feel nu, cause ivlo close aaga maatanga yaarumnu tha soldranga. We even met like 2 times - meetup maari irundhalum, I felt that feeling of closeness from her side too. I have to fix myself - self love illatha oru person naanu, I can't love her num thonudhu, at the same time she is the one num thonudhu, at the same time I want this beautiful friendship till the end of our lives ( marriage changes that, I know that too).

Na paatuku unmaiya solrenu soltu, ava pesama poita...romba kastama aagirum. I m sure she'll understanding type but intha vishyathula I don't know how she'll react - pesuratha korachipanganu bayamavum irku. Anyone faced this situation irrespective of gender? Kadhalu kadhantu pogatum nu apdiye vitu irkeengala? How to curb this overthinking and start focusing on myself? ennala olunga padika kooda mudila😭