TIFU the most embarrassing moment of my life
so i was at the doctor like maybe 3 hrs ago or smth and yeah i cant stop replaying it, went in for this dumb itch thing nothing dramatic just annoying, older doc guy very calm like he’s seen everything, tells me to drop pants and i’m already kinda stiff mentally like ok cool adult time, i lie back staring at the ceiling tiles counting them or whatever and then my body just… decides nah today we perform, like full on, i didn’t even feel it starting i just noticed and froze, and i swear he paused for half a sec and went “yeah that happens” like he was talking about the weather which somehow made it 10x worse, and i’m just lying there pretending i’m dead thinking about protein powder brand names or Elden Ring bosses anything, but then the door just opens, nurse walks in no knock, sees everything, does this weird half turn “sorry” and backs out but not fully?? TL;DR like the door stays cracked and i could see light from the hallway and my brain goes yeah cool entire clinic watching shadow puppet show of my worst moment, doc keeps talking like nothing is happening explaining stuff i don’t even remember, something about skin irritation or whatever, i’m nodding like yeah mhm totally listening bro while internally i’m just gone, and it didnt even go away fast which made it worse, finally he’s done i yank my pants up way too fast probably looked insane, he writes the prescription and then goes “maybe skip those supplements for a bit” with this tiny smirk and i’m like oh great he clocked it instantly of course he did im not slick, then i had to walk past that same nurse and she just avoided eye contact completely like i dont exist which honestly might be worse, idk maybe this is normal and im overreacting but it felt like i just unlocked a new level of embarrassment i didnt even know was possible
Edit: sorry formatting is bad im on mobile