u/Select-Reflection997

Problem/Goal: How would you feel if you knew/discovered that your husband has been hiding conversations of him and his mom from you?

Context: Weeks ago, me and my MIL had a misunderstanding and it was super toxic and I don’t feel like my husband is siding me. Ever since that happened, he doesn’t want me to know what his mother has been saying about me.

I don’t know what to feel, i’m in the middle of me feeling betrayed, not being chosen or? Idk.

Previous Attempts: None

If I were you, how would you feel? Bakit parang kailangan i-tago or is this normal?

Problem/Goal: Last week, nabasa ko mga messages ng soon to be MIL ko sa fiancé ko. Meron siyang sinabi dun na, nilason ko daw ang isip ng anak niya dahil ayaw ko daw na mawala sa paningin ko yung anak niya kaya ayaw ko daw mag trabaho sa bangko yung anak niya. Yun daw ang totoo. Which is hindi naman totoo, talagang ayaw din ng anak niya mag corporate world.

Context: She has been convincing his son to apply for a job na dating pinanggalingan niya (she’s now in Canada, previously a bank manager here in the ph)

Years ago, sinabihan niya yung anak niya (my fiancé) na if our business won’t succeed in 2yrs time, he’s not for business, mag apply na lang daw yung anak niya sa trabaho (which is sa bank na pinanggalingan niya).

She has been discouraging his son na kesyo hindi pang negosyo yung anak niya, prove her wrong daw ganito ganiyan.

Sa akin, okay lang kung pagsasabihan niya yung anak niya, pero don’t ever drag my name into it and blame me kung bakit ayaw mag apply ng anak niya. Meron pa siyang sinabi na hinahamak ko daw yung trabaho niya at yung kinikita niya. Which is wala naman akong sinabi na ganun (nag aassume lang siya talaga).

So fast forward, nangyari yung convo nila na yun last week(I tried to shrug it off and wag na mag dwell, kaso…), the next day, gumawa si MIL ng group chat naming 4 (my fiance, his brother’s boyfriend, MIL & I) para sa graduation surprise party ng brother ng fiance ko, hindi ko alam, pero there’s something inside me na na-ttrigger everytime nagmemessage siya doon sa group chat. Lumalabas talaga yung galit ko, kasi pakiramdam ko, nabastos ako sa sinabi niya and accusations niya sakin, so eventually, nag leave group chat ako.

The next day, nagmessage siya sa anak niya, meron daw ba akong issue, bakit daw ako nag leave. So my fiancé replied na “kung ano ano kasi sinabi mo”. My fiancé also explained to her na siya naman talaga ang may desisyon na ayaw niya mag work sa gusto ng mother niya. Then sumagot naman si mother na never allow anyone to disrespect her lalong lalo na kung asawa or partner. So for me, ako pa yung disrespectful when in-fact, nag react lang naman ako sa mga pinagsasabi niya. Kailangan ba tanggapin ko lang yung mga sinabi niya about me and turn a blind eye na lang?

I just feel like no one’s coming to save me so I feel the need na ipag-laban sarili ko dahil this is not the first time na nagkaconflict ang family niya vs me. Palaging neutral lang yung fiancé ko and never ko naramdaman na he’s siding with me or ipaglalaban niya ako. I’m doubting kung dapat ko pa bang ituloy ‘to o itigil na hanggat maaga pa at hindi pa kami kasal.