u/Select-Onion3144

My (28F) husband (28M) got married a few months ago and suddenly sex life post marriage is dead (once or twice a month) compared to our past history, which was several times a week usually. He has switched antidepressants/dosages several times in the last year and I know low libido can be a side effect of SSRIs, (I was on them for years and know what it’s like) but I got sick of taking them because I felt like the negative side effects were outweighing any positives I was getting from them so I stopped taking them altogether and now my sex drive is the highest it’s ever been in my life, and it feels like his is the lowest it’s ever been. I love him so much and I feel terrible for even feeling this way but right now it feels like he simply doesn’t have the capacity to meet my needs. Not to mention his sleep schedule has changed and he goes to bed hours earlier than me, he gets exhausted at 9pm and I’m a night owl that can’t fall asleep before midnight at the earliest. And yes, I have initiated the majority of the last few times but I’m so tired of initiating I want to feel wanted and desired like he used to make me feel. Because I’ve never had a libido this high, I never would’ve thought that lack of sex would ever be this significant/make me feel like this, I almost feel some shame and confusion for these feelings. But I need sex so bad I’m losing my mind in frustration, I think about it all day and porn or masturbation isn’t cutting it. I would never actually go out and secretly hook up with someone else but sometimes I feel my mind wandering there and fantasizing which has never happened before. I feel so guilty. And I’ve already brought up the lack of physical intimacy to him multiple times before and he said he will look into switching up his antidepressant to see if helps….it hasn’t. And it seems wrong to keep having him change psychiatric medication because i’m horny- especially because we’ve been in reversed roles before and there’s been times in the past I didn’t want sex for weeks.

Anyways, I’m wondering many things like 1) if there’s any antidepressants out there that don’t have any libido related side effects (i know everyone responds to them differently but still) and 2) is this situation a valid reason to ask him about opening the relationship (like is it terrible to ask that when it’s for a medical reason like this?) and 3) does anyone have any experience with this and have some advice on how to go about the open relationship conversation/important guidelines to keep in mind or 4) do i need to just suck it up and be satisfied with the twice a month sex and touching myself

tl;dr dead bedroom because of husband’s antidepressants, wondering if proposing to open the relationship is the right choice