u/Sea_Detail6175

Hi all! I know many people in this community also experience rejection sensitivity and mine is progressing so I’m hoping for some ideas and support from people who understand. I have a wonderful supportive therapist who I work with closely for various issues who I will continue to work with. I’m also in the process of switching to a new med.

My rejection sensitivity has always been an issue, but seems to be getting worse and more out of my control as I get older, even though I almost assumed I’d grow out of it. I try so hard to mask and “fit in” and present myself perfectly to people. However, I find myself picking apart interactions with everyone and feeling a deep sinking feeling that I’m unliked or unwelcome in multiple spaces. I know I have low confidence and I run back all my interactions from the day and question what I did right or wrong.

For example, today I asked nicely for a bag to put some take out food in, and the worker flatly said that they’re right there and that I need to grab one for myself in a somewhat forward tone. It wasn’t even necessarily rude. My brain hung onto this meaningless interaction allll day today and it looped in my head - wondering if I had upset them, annoyed them, etc. It obviously is worse with bigger rejections but I’m finding that I can’t stop thinking about even these minuscule and meaningless interactions. Couple this with my already existing OCD and my brain just endlessly loops and the thoughts of frustration with myself and my existence get overwhelming.

I’m curious for those that have experienced this, what has helped you? I try to distract myself and talk it through, but find that (similarly with my other obsessions), the more that I try to push it aside and not think about it, the louder it gets when the thought comes back again.

Thoughts, advice, truly any ideas would be so helpful!

I just need to rant.

I get it, as patients, we need to advocate for ourselves, but man am I tired of hearing the word advocate. When do doctors actually step in and do their job? I’ve been having extreme redness around some joints and severe facial flushing. I have a pre-existing autoimmune disease (Crohn’s). The hot redness in my face and around my joints is accompanied by increased malaise and body aches/pains. I reach out to my rheumatologist and she recommends I reach out to my primary instead because my autoimmune blood tests that we did 4 months ago looked okay. My primary is trying but she’s already managing so many of my conditions along with my pain med regimen. Then I get sent back to a different provider, who then thinks I should see a different provider. It truly never ends!

Doctors are inundated with patients, but my primary can’t do everything, and doesn’t always know the answer (hence why specialities exist!). And she’s great and understanding but I don’t want to over utilize her and burn her out with me as well. I feel stuck and lost and like things are just going to get worse - I went as far to buy some labs out of pocket through a company to at least see if I could possibly get some concrete data. I’m waiting to see if those results yield anything.

I honestly feel a feeling of insanity creeping in as I get sent down the same paths over and over with providers passing me around like I’m a hot potato.

Maybe this is a really broad question or line of thought. I feel like lately I go out in public and at very minimum find 1 person who’s just actively being mean. Road raging, getting mad at a customer service worker, people snapping at you or someone else. I can’t think of the last time I’ve gone in public and not witnessed someone being mean to someone else or to me directly sometimes. I know life is stressful. I know we’re all going through things that many people don’t know about. But I feel like we’ve lost the plot amidst the chaos in the world that being kind to each other goes a looong way. I can’t think of the last time I’ve felt better after going in public at this point. I know people have always been angry and rude and that this isn’t necessarily a new concept, but I do feel like there’s been a significant uptick in this the last few years, and it’s honestly making me really sad.