u/SapplingGreenFran

All my life I (16F) had been told by my parents (47F and 47M) that I was more than just white. I am completely okay with this fact and have no resentment towards that.

I see myself as fully white as I have no connection with the family or the culture of my great-grandmother (who wasn't white as I was told) since my grandfather never spoke with our family and his mother was orphaned at a young age.

My father who is 1/4 not white sees us and understands us both as white people with presumably austronesian DNA. My mother on the other hands sees us both as people who aren't white at all.

The reason this has been bothering me so much is the fact that my mother makes racist remarks of African American people in our family. I remember from a year or two ago that had called her own cousins wife 'As black as dirt'. When she said this, it made me very uncomfortable and I immediately called her out on it after she laughed about her own words. As you would think, she got mad at me for doing this.

My mother also repeatedly calls Native Americans 'Indians' and Inuit people that one slur. I have also told her time and time again that these terms aren't right but she just doesn't care. She only gets irritated and frustrated when being called out.

She has also made remarks of my father and grandfather saying 'They are way browner and darker than you'. My mother and father do not have a good relationship by the way. I'm not sure if she has ever said anything like this to him. To anyone that is a person of color, she would not saying these things directly to their face.

How do I make her stop saying these kinds of things and make her expect that I am obviously white since she is my mother? I hate having to deal with this as I'm basically not allowed to tell anyone. I think she's an overall terrible person with other things she had done that weren't mentioned.