How to successfully kill myself
I've been aware that killing yourself is actually so hard.
I've been scared to actually do it because I'm scared I'II end up in a vegetative state and not dead. I've looked into it a lot for the past year and then tried it back in November of 2025 by slitting my wrist drunk, was so painful which I don't care but it barely did anything and I was fine at the end of it. Woke up in the hospital and was sent on my way. It all felt like a joke to me. Im still so embarrassed. Im also so embarrassed I feel this way so I don't talk to anyone about it. There has been a few slip ups but I keep it together pretty well. But this morning | lost it and I'm genuinely just going to rock bottom again in my mind. I need to kill myself so badly and dont know how to go about it to make it actually work. I've thought about everything. And can't decide what to do. I just know I need to.
This is a little side rant and I'm assuming as I write this, I'II delete it prob in a little bit BUT PLEASE TELL ME HOW, like is the throat a 100% way to go out?
I've lost everything I had a chance with. I missed my brothers growing up and my mom od'ing / dying at 14 really fucked me up. Got raped unconscious in my ass at 19, and on top of that I've been on and off homeless since 16. And I genuinely am so tired of starting over and trying. Yes I know it can get better I have seen it, and I know it takes time but I don't have the patience anymore. I'm 21 now turning 22 this year and am nowhere near where I want or need to be in life. I genuinely mean it from the bottom of my heart I want to die so please tell me how. I am begging you.