My experience as a woman on dating apps
This is mainly for men who are curious and don't know what it's like for (many) women on dating apps. I've read in a few threads that men don't get swiped right a lot? For many women, the opposite is true. But that doesn't make it more fun. Here's my experience with every app I've been on.
I make an account. I've barely filled in my email address when I already have 20 likes. Haven't even filled in my name or age yet, let alone uploaded pictures. At this point, all they know is that I... exist. And I might be a woman.
Once I've uploaded pictures and filled out my preferences, likes and messages start pouring in from guys from every corner of the world. Seriously. Every continent is active. I'm especially popular in southeast Asia for some reason. I quickly enable the feature that allows only guys from my country to view me.
Once I'm done filtering through the men who would make my dad feel young again, I look through the profiles of the 5% that are actually my age and from my country, only to find out that we are NOT looking for the same thing. Many of them are looking for hook-ups or they want something serious really fast. Plus, at first glance it looks like we have nothing in common. I love traveling, they prefer to stay at home. They wanna spar with someone about philosophy, I wanna exchange memes. Which begs the question: did you really look past my pictures?
I delete the occasional unsolicited dick pic so I can have a conversation with someone else who actually seems decent. Only to find out after a few messages that they're a rude arrogant jerk who's either stuck in the 19th century when it comes to their view on women, who tries to guilt you into doing something they want or shame you for having a different opinion than them.
So yeah, I may have 300 guys who swiped right, but I'm only talking to two guys, praying with every message that they're just a normal dude who wants to have a chat over a cup of coffee. It may seem like we "have our pick", but when your options are dick pics, attachment issues, long-distance chatting, retirement center, manipulation and just straight-up nutjobs, you don't feel so lucky 😭
This post is not meant to say that women are "winning" the contest of poor dating app experiences. It's just to let you know that things aren't all rainbows and sunshine for us either, even if it may seem like it. And I feel bad for all the good men and women out there who are getting lost in the crowd that seems to only consist of weirdos.