u/Rural_Dictionary939

TheraminTrees is a YouTuber who explores issues related to abuse, as well as dogmatic ideologies. In some of his videos, he explains how dogmatic ideologies often employ all of the same tactics, distortions, and manipulations that abusive individuals use.

He also argues that ideological groups can have cluster B dynamics, such as narcissistic dynamics, baked into them. Oftentimes, ideological groups project a false image to the public that tries to cover this up.

In one of his videos titled “my cluster B parent died and I felt.... nothing much (1/2) [cc]”, TheraminTrees explains Cluster B disorders, as well as Cluster B mask-wearing:

“For those unfamiliar with it, cluster B is an umbrella term covering four classifications of personality disorder: antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic. Personality disorders involve persistent distorted patterns of thinking and behaving.

In the case of the four cluster B disorders these patterns are characterised as dramatic, emotional, unpredictable and manipulative. The behaviour can become intensely destructive both to the disordered individuals and those around them. Each of the four disorders has its own flavour.

In very broad terms, antisocial disorder refers to a pattern of disregarding social rules and violating other people’s rights; borderline disorder can involve extreme emotional dysregulation and a chronically unstable self-image; histrionic disorder points to a pattern of inappropriate attention-seeking with theatrical, sometimes sexually provocative behaviour; narcissistic disorder relates to exaggerated ideas of superiority, specialness and entitlement.

In practice, the clinical pictures for these disorders are complex and the distinctions aren’t necessarily clear-cut. A person might exhibit narcissistic and histrionic traits. At the extreme end, there can be vast areas of trait overlap.

Sometimes the individual’s behaviour is so unfiltered that even total strangers can see there’s something off. Some people who’ve grown up with cluster B relatives report that concerns were frequently expressed by others. ‘What’s up with your uncle?’ ‘Why does your dad act so weird?’ But many cluster B individuals learn to control themselves in public situations — to hide behind a mask of respectability. Strangers might even form an unusually positive impression of them. But people with intimate experience of the individual know it’s a performance. And, when polite company departs, the mood can soon change. Any pent-up poison can now be released.

Masks add extra levels of disconnection from reality. Targets are often split into two opposing and equally perverse roles. On top of being their abusers’ private punchbags, they become their public protectors, colluding with their abusers’ false faces and keeping all the grubby secrets that might lead to their abusers’ downfall. Many people are born or indoctrinated as adults into mask-wearing ideological groups that project a false image of benevolence to the public, while privately exhibiting all the same corruption as malignant cluster B individuals, and forcing targets into all the same distorted shapes.”

He goes into detail about narcissistic disorder in his “letting go of fixing people [cc]” video:

“When looking at human traits, things are rarely black-and-white. It's more useful to think of spectrums, spanning between absent and abundant. When it comes to narcissism, there's huge variation in the range and intensity exhibited by different individuals. Within the milder end there might only be one or two narcissistic attributes. If they're having a significant impact on relationships, and the individual possesses enough self-awareness, emotional resilience and openness to change, there's every hope they can be effectively addressed in therapy. In many cases, these attributes might be better conceptualized as bad habits, what are called “narcissistic fleas” picked up by exposure to narcissistic behavior. As attributes increase in number and expressional intensity, hope of change begins to decrease. There might be some awareness of the problem. There might even be some attempt to engage in therapy. But, results can be volatile… As we tip over into the more extreme side of the narcissism spectrum, hope tails off exponentially. We start seeing a very bleak clinical picture. With full blown narcissists we're no longer even looking at a human personality as we recognize it -- we're looking at a suit of armour. All of us have to carry around some armor to protect ourselves. In healthy scenarios, that armour is flexible and economical, and adapts according to the specific social situation. In contrast, narcissists maintain full armor in the shape of a human suit. A fictional self, a phantom which they use to navigate the social world. This avatar is no casual deception. It guards the narcissist against immobilizing fear: fear of rejection from others, and fear of facing the desolate void of their own inner landscape. It's a tool of survival. Tampering with that survival tool can arouse a sense of extreme existential threat. Change is unthinkable. The same absolute refusal to change can be seen in narcissistic collectives who armour themselves with a false image of ideological perfection. Again, this false image is a tool of survival. To accept external criticism and admit to flaws and transgressions undermines the infallibility and superior moral virtue that's come to define their very existence. As in therapy, we can confidently predict that attempts to force change on highly resistant groups will intensify their defenses. There'll be more hardline policies, more control over image management, more secrecy, more paranoia.”

Feminism and feminist groups of various types are mask-wearing cluster B groups. This doesn’t mean that the people in these groups have cluster B disorders (most of them probably don’t), but cluster B thinking, behaviors, and mindsets are fostered when related to the ideology. Also, many feminist groups are like mild, moderate, or severe (but not full-blown) narcissistic individuals, rather than like full-blown narcissists.

Feminism has some elements of all four disorders, antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic, but especially narcissistic.

Feminism is a deeply manipulative and dishonest ideology, and feminists are unwittingly acting as its public defenders, and unknowingly engaging in many manipulative tactics.

Feminism very heavily uses gaslighting. It also uses a lot of emotional blackmail, deception/dishonesty, moving the goalposts, and moral licensing.

Feminists frequently make men doubt their lived experiences, as well as their disadvantages and problems. This is often done through gaslighting.

Also, feminists often invoke earlier waves of feminism and achievements to try to argue for modern feminism, which is moral licensing, and often also takes the form of emotional blackmail. For example, getting women the right to vote a century ago. However, just because an individual or movement has done good things in the past, or even good things in the present, does not excuse their present bad behavior, or mean you have to support a movement now.

Some feminists use moving the goalposts when interacting with men they consider to be “one of the good ones”. Men are never good enough for some feminists. Interacting with these feminists as a man about feminism is like trying to meet a constantly moving target.

As stated earlier, feminism as a movement often exhibits cluster B traits. For example, passing discriminatory laws and policies (such as the Duluth model), attacking and trashing men, and blocking, diverting, and defunding programs, shelters, and other things meant to help men in need are good examples of antisocial and narcissistic behaviors and thinking. Feminism has a strong zero-sum mindset, another characteristic of narcissism.

Feminists also can have some histrionic and narcissistic elements to their thinking and behavior, such as needing everything to be about themselves and women, and getting very angry, uncomfortable, and defensive when even asked to consider men or when men’s issues are being given attention, or being dramatic, inflammatory, and vitriolic, and so on.

Other narcissistic traits of feminist groups include an inability to accept criticism or admit flaws of feminism, and a strong (sometimes extreme) unwillingness to change their minds about things or revise to any extent their core beliefs. They also often exhibit hostility to non-feminists, or anyone that is critical of feminism to any extent.

Feminism puts on a mask. Its mask is that it’s “just a movement for gender equality.” Many feminists wear the mask, but accidentally let it slip sometimes. Some feminists switch between mask-wearing and not mask-wearing, and then gaslight you about that. Some feminists are largely or even entirely “mask-off”.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zcRUj8H3rc4

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mdDAHekq9yc

My entire “game plan” for TheTinMen for the past six years has simply been to create as much content as I can, at the highest possible quality, with the most reliable statistics, and the rest will sort itself out.

Who knows –

Maybe some publisher or newspaper will sponsor me, maybe a brand steps in, or perhaps a rich angel investor with a blank cheque will slide into my DMs…

To be honest I didn’t think too much about it.

My time was spent trying to build a proof of concept; one that shows these issues matter, and that there’s enough of us caring and talking about them to do something about it.

The problem is, as I now realise, these topics are not particularly popular with the mainstream.

And that those in this space with the pockets deep enough to help fund me, splash about in the shallow end of kind slogans and hashtags, and I, neck deep in the mud of ugly advocacy, would only dirty up their shiny shoes by association.

Who knew that talking about men and boys who are raped, and abused, who are betrayed by our government, by our politicians and the charity sector, by our legal and education system, would be so unpopular?

Sadly, ‘men are 41% of abuse victims’ doesn’t look quite so good on a tote bag, does it?

The second reality that is fast dawning on me, is my method of funding this will soon be at an end, and when that ends, so does everything else.

So here I am, humbly cap in hand, asking for help.

And I know.

These conversations should be financed by someone else; by government, by brands, by healthcare providers, and other large charities, but they are not here, you are.

So if you have a shared interest in helping (the newly incorporated) TheTinMen CIC to keep going, to keep creating daily content that is unapologetic, and dives headfirst into the mud of controversy, then please support me at:

Thetinmen.blog/donate
Or
Patreon.com/thetinmen

Thank you
George