u/RunningLikeAPlover

My finances have been pretty tight lately. I recently broke up with my long-term partner and have been paying for all of my housing expenses on my own. I also have/had some trips and other fun things planned (pre-breakup) that are a bit costly, so I've been spending quite a bit.

My credit score has dropped from 720 to 671 since March. I have a Visa and Amex. I never go past the limit (Amex doesn't have a pre-set limit) and autopay the full statement balance every cycle. My Visa is over 10 years old and my Amex is relatively new. I got it last summer. I also pay my rent, utilities and bills each month.

Credit Karma says that my utilization is poor. My Amex statement last month was nearly $3k, and I paid it off in full. I've been trying to split payments between both cards so I'm not overloading one or the other. Sometimes I break the payments up into two so I can have enough money in hand during the week. The other day, as soon as the payment was deducted from my checking account, my score dropped another 18 points.

What exactly am I doing wrong here? It's so frustrating. If I use the cards too much, I'm punished. If I'm not using them enough, I'm punished.

Thanks in advance for any help!

Title basically, it’s one of my favorite songs of all time (hence my username). I know the demo is on the Carrie & Lowell 10th anniversary vinyl, but is there a 7” out there perhaps?

Hi all, what are your favorite places to have a mellow, solo dinner/drinks in the neighborhood? I’m trying to do more nice things for and by myself locally to (a) save money by not trekking to manhattan and (b) take advantage of all the great establishments nearby. I have no anxiety about sitting by myself, but a lot of the restaurants here have more of a group/family atmosphere, so anything on the more lowkey side is helpful. TIA!

Me and my ex were together 7 years. I broke up with her because she had extremely poor boundaries with friends and family (talked shit about me, let them talk shit about me and didn’t defend me), was woefully avoidant and immature, and ofc cheated on me with her best friend, so that was kinda a series wrap on everything.

I remember in the last few days before she moved out, I was so numb and resigned to what happened that I barely cried, until we worked out logistics and she took our (her) cat back to her parents. He was hers first originally, and I got the apartment and the friends, so it seemed fair. But it didn’t not hurt like a bitch. He and I were so bonded and I really cherished getting to just sit and cuddle with him while going through one of the worst moments of my life. Right before they left, I remember at like 4am one night when I couldn’t sleep, he climbed into my lap and started purring, and I just completely burst into tears. I sobbed harder then than I did that whole week. The fact that I was more devastated about losing him than her says a lot.

Looking back on everything, I know I made the right call to leave. I could feel my self-respect whittling away each day and I was losing myself. I don’t really feel bad for my ex. She’s an adult who made her own (extremely short-sighted and poor) decisions and she has to live with the consequences of them. But I feel worse for him because he’s a little guy - so uncomplicated, loving a pet is unconditional and straightforward, unlike humans. He has no clue what’s going on except that he hasn’t seen me in months and won’t see me anytime soon or ever again. I’m still cleaning up his fur and finding little toys scattered across the apartment and it makes me cry all over again. I know he’s in good hands and hope he’s doing well. It just broke my heart to have to lose him, too, on top of everything else.

I’m going to get my own cat eventually once my life settles down and I readjust to living alone. They won’t replace the memories of the boy we shared, but hopefully I can fill the void somewhat and give another little guy a safe, loving home.