ROCD triggered by partner’s new unpredictable work schedule… struggling with doubt
We’ve been together 3.5 years but don’t live together (we both still live at home, no sleepovers allowed).
My boyfriend is on a new 4-on/2-off rotating schedule (4pm–12am), but due to staffing shortages he’s often forced into overnight doubles (12am–8am), especially on weekends. This can mean 16-hour back-to-back shifts, and it’s most likely to happen on weekends, which is when I’m usually free. I work Monday–Friday, 8–4.
Because of this, we now only see each other about 2 times a week for a few hours depending on his shifts and recovery sleep.
Since this change, my ROCD has been triggered a lot. I’m having a tough time adjusting to this. Sometimes it feels like I’m single. I keep having intrusive thoughts like “what if I’d be happier with someone else” or “what if I’m wasting time staying and avoiding the inevitable,” and I can’t tell what’s anxiety vs. actual incompatibility. I don’t want to break up with him over this. I am happy with him otherwise.
Has anyone dealt with ROCD being triggered by a partner’s schedule/work change like this?