u/RoomPersonal9710

I (M26) have gotten to know a co-worker (M, similar age).

We had met for coffee a couple months ago and we really hit it off. We both lost track of time and talked for a good 3 to 4 hours, and we could easily have kept talking.

I have developed I guess what you could call a crush on him. I think about him lots, I have a desire to be with him, and I get quite nervous and shy around him. However, I don’t know if I am sexually or physically attracted to him, so this might just be an intense platonic feeling.

We haven’t really met outside work since our coffee meetup, but we see each other often enough at work we can frequently have some short conversations.

I have always identified as straight and this is the first time I’ve felt this way towards another guy, so it’s a bit overwhelming to say the least.

I don’t know his sexual orientation, but I’m assuming he is straight. Although I have wondered sometimes if he’s gay or bi since, not trying to stereotype, but he seems a bit more on the effeminate side.

I also feel like I’ve been getting some mixed signals from him. On one hand, I am always the one initiating conversations, but he is always friendly and receptive and keeps conversation going with me when I do approach him. I have even noticed he sometimes has a smile on his face when I talk to him even if I’m not saying anything particularly funny, if that means anything. But it’s always me starting the conversations….

When we had gone for coffee, I noticed him making lots of direct eye contact with me and was kind of doing the shy laugh/looking away at times and seeming a bit fidgety.

I’m not sure how to proceed with this,especially because I’m also not sure how I feel about him or what I want. We haven’t met up since our coffee, largely because we are both busy and it’s hard to find a day that works for both of us, but also because I get really nervous when I do want to ask him and I end up doing the vague “we should meet up sometime in the next couple weeks” and nothing ends up happening.

I’m just curious if anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice.. I am a chronic overthinker with an anxious attachment style which is not making any of this easier lol

Thank you!