How do I tell my diagnosed cousin that he IS autistic - rant and advice needed
He was diagnosed at 3-5 years old. He has the classic "male" autistic representation/aspergers. He's several years younger. I'm neurodivergent myself. Apparently he has NO CLUE he is autistic. Despite going to an "academy" in early childhood. In part, because other ignorant doctors, knowing him as an adult, dismiss it as being spoiled and his mom decided that might be better for him. But I was told that every time she kind of explores, even vaguely, that possibility. He becomes aggressive.
I literally had no idea he didn't know. He is not high masking, hence he's visibly autistic and going through life one would assume one would suspect something. And he does, and he notices how everyone reacts. That being said, he also has had violent reactions in arguments, he gets agitated towards you when you communicate certain things, he's borderline abusive towards his mom (and maybe sisters). There's a certain entitlement, even if at the expanse of others.
Right now he was adamant on visiting me in a difference city than his, when it's completely a horrible time financially, physically, and mentally and there is no adequate space for him. Culturally, rejection hosting someone is nuanced. After realizing he's not getting it, I straight up said it's not comfortable for me. And mentioned the financial part, too, and the space. YET, he keeps saying it's fine on his part, he's okay with it. I got so fed up with how freaking selfish this actually is, what's the point of coming over if it's for a change of air for YOU but I can suck it, in my own home? It's not about spending time with me anymore.
He's been struggling mentally bc unemployed (it's a national criss, everyone is including me). And I felt so bad that I'm so outwardly rejecting him coming. But we agreed he got to at least book a ticket back home for in two days. I straight up said that's the only duration I'm comfortable with atm given the circumstance - which I would never say to someone straight up given my culture, but that's because they'd get the hint.
But he didn't. Because there aren't tickets available to begin with until five days later. Yet he decided to book a one way ticket KNOWING this. He hang saying he'd do it. His mom calls and says he's fine sleeping on the couch. So he ignored completely what we talked about and is on his way.
He's in his 20s and I think it's time he starts seeing things for how they are. He wasn't spoiled as a child, but at this point, he's getting away with things being male and pushy and reactive when he doesn't get his way.
I've wanted to tell him long ago because I felt for him and it's insane something so personal is hidden from him.
TL;DR: my cousin gets a little aggressive when things don't go his way or something he doesnt like is said, but I want to bring up the fact that he is autistic as it will open up the world for him. How do I approach it? Should I at all?