u/Responsible-Bus7806

Hi everyone. I moved back in with my father at the end of 2025 following a sibling death and breakup with my live-in partner. My initial moving out was because we got in a huge fight about his drinking, livelihood decisions, and cleanliness habits.

For context, our dining room table has rarely been free of random papers, cigarette ash and related trash, and parts of projects he is working on. I can count on one hand the times I've used that table to eat. Same case with our couch, living room, and office space. They are spaces for dust and clutter. His personal room is a place I don't even like our household pet entering. I have never had company over since I was a teenager because the house has never been presentable.

We largely butt heads of keeping the kitchen clean as I like to cook and bake. He allows dishes to pile up everywhere and will leave everything he used to cook all over the kitchen. Every time I want too make anything, I have to clean up or move his mess somewhere (and I work nearly everyday, about to be working two jobs).

Since moving back in, I have kept everything of mine that is in communal areas separated from his clutter. My dirty dishes are separate and are washed separately, as well as stored in a separate cabinet. I have separate shelves in the fridge, freeze, and pantry for food as he lets his food mold for weeks, even months, without going through and removing it (despite this, I will still find him putting his food on my shelves, taking food from my shelves, dishes from my shelves, etc.).

My main issue is that even when asked about small things to pick up after himself, he has an attitude. If I push back or try to open the conversation to why he is SO bothered, we will end up in a weeks-long argument. These arguments wont be about any form of cleanliness, but about his past, his trauma, his parents, and my poor personal decisions around finances and college. He will eventually say that I am living in his house rent-free so he will clean when he feels like it and I can move out again if I don't like it.

Outside of me being bothered by his cleanliness or detrimental life decisions, our relationship is fine at worst. This is the only time he is nasty to me. However, when he makes attempts to bond and I still don't have a clean surface to prep food, he usually gets an attitude.

TL;DR My dad barely cleans up after himself and keeps communal spaces cluttered and dirty. I have tried multiple tactics to get him to pick up after himself, but he stated that while I'm living in his house rent-free he will not clean if he doesn't feel like it no matter how I feel. Looking for any advice outside of moving out as that is not an option right now.

Hello everyone, I'm a 21F in Austin, Texas who's struggling financially.

Context: I went to college but things didn't work out and I dropped out with about 6,000 in debt (on top of an additional ~6,000 in the form of medical and credit card debt that I'm currently paying off). I have full intentions of going back to school, but probably wont be able to afford it until my mid 20's. I have no certifications or licenses. I live with my father and pay no bills or rent. I pay no bills for my car, phone, or 80% of groceries. I'm uninsured on all fronts but dental.

I work part time at a mid-end steakhouse as a host (full time hours are hard to acquire as the restaurant opens at 4). I'm working my way up to serving, which will make me an average of $200 a night. Currently, my total gross monthly income is ~ $1300.

I don't buy many things for myself really. Most of my personal spending is spent on food (eating out after work or delivered when I don't feel like cooking), which equates to about ~$200. I might spend $20 for video game stuff. Personal groceries like makeup and skincare might cost me $50 - $80. I also smoke marijuana, so probably another $80 there. I send $40 - $50 to my houseless sister when I can as well. All in all, upwards $400 in monthly expenses (I know the solution on this end is to eat at home more).

I have no investments, no second forms of income, don't do stocks or anything like that. My body is adverse to heavy and intensive physical labor. I have looked into selling digital products, like notion templates and planners, doing social media, or even walking dogs and house sitting but many of those had startup costs that outweighed the inconsistent financial results.

I feel like I am doing something wrong, or nothing at all which also feels wrong. I want to start making real money but without a degree or internships I don't know what routes to take. Any forms of constructive guidance would be appreciated.

Tl;dr: 21f in Austin, TX needs help making more money. Living at home, no college degree or certifications, ~11k in debt, paying no bills, no degree, no side hustles, one part time job making ~$1,300 a month. Advice and help is appreciated.

Edit: Thank you for all the advice. Second morning job, pay the debts, invest in a stock or two, go back to community, get my life together ❤️ !

Edit 2: By heavy and intensive physical labor I don't mean regular warehouse work, but more so manual labor at construction sites and operating heavy machinery. I work out regularly and I have no physical disabilities or conditions outside of asthma. It is just a personal preference.