Aging parents want to retire abroad
my mum is in her mid 60s and working part time same with my dad who is a few years older. they have no retirement plan and live in a house they paid down payment and mortgage on but loan in my name as they couldnt borrow. this has not insignificantly impacted me for obvious reasons over the last decade ie my own borrowing and making sure the were on the straight and narrow and paying the house down as I’m on the hook ultimately. i have had a good career so have managed to do ok myself but it’s a demanding job. their initial plan was to pay it off but it’s become clear they won’t.
out of no where six months ago , my mother decided she’s will only work for 1-2 more years and wants to retire in a lower cost cost location being a region near where she is originally from. this is overseas from where we currently live
the money to do so will come from selling this house which has increased a lot in value. she plans to take all of the proceeds minus paying bank out for mortgage. parents don’t get along well so I don’t know how they’d go after they are gone on their own in new place and if mother plans to secretly leave on her own.
i have no idea if they will blow all their money if this comes to fruition as they have not been good with money in the past. much work and hard conversations have been had in the last decade to be able to even be in this position ie have equity in the house
mother has highlighted that lower cost and higher quality of life is a major objective including eating out and travelling in moderation
no investigation trip to this region has been done
i am trying to be as supportive as I can but frankly privately seething as this is once again something she’s sprung on me with f all notice just like when I got three months to help them buy this house a decade ago.
I am also seething and concerned that she will blow all the money after the work I’ve put in to make sure that this house can help them retire is with the equity once sold wherever they retire
she also made a comment to me that the money should all go to her not dad and she will distribute as she sees it as her entitlement. since mentioning she’s acting like she didn’t say it. she’s not told my dad or brother
I can’t believe she Is putting me in this F position after all Of the above
would love your thoughts and needed this off my f chest
edit: i have worked since i was 15 part time and then several jobs at uni and then full time non stop no breaks ever since graduating. every job I’ve taken has been focused on getting more money and I’ve not once complained. frankly my money and working has seen myself and them through. but for this house they wouldn’t be in a position to rent in this day and age. I get alot of grief for having to have the a hole hard convos and keep everyone in line. I’m not sorry for it either because there’s not a lot of wriggle room for error. I’m tired of being the bad guy and whilst I totally understand aging parents wanting to retire and needing to, I can’t condone doing it so quickly and chasing a higher quality of leisure at great risk. Mother has only worked PT for the last few years and at times whilst I was in junior high / high school.