u/Relevant_Bowler7077

About 11 months ago this girl started talking to me in this class, she didn't go to my school but we both went to these sessions at this university. She seemed friendly and asked for my contact so we could message. We messaged each other a lot and seemed to get along. There were things about her which kind of rubbed me the wrong way and the fact she had a boyfriend also made me feel guilty but girls never talk to me so I just wanted to talk to her. We did similar subjects and I tried to help her with things she struggled with and I sent her videos of me going through maths topics to try and help her and she seemed happy that I helped her. She broke up with her boyfriend and I said "sorry to hear that, if you want to just chill out tonight then that's fine" and I didn't text her. Then my birthday was a few days later so she messaged me then and we texted like normal and she asked if I wanted to meet up, so I said we could over summer and things seemed fine and she seemed enthusiastic to talk to me until we actually got to summer and she stopped messaging me as often and when she did, I was the one trying to keep the conversation going. I kind of accepted this and felt that it was the end, so I just decided to ask if she wanted to meet up and suggested some activities to do and she said she may be able to. Then she didn't text me again and I messaged her and asked if she wanted to meet and she just said no sorry and I said alright and just ended it with if she wanted to meet at some other point just let me know and I just left it at that. I haven't messaged her since because there's no point, I'd just be flogging a dead horse now. I kind of knew that this was going to happen from the start because it always does happen to me. I'm just really annoyed about it. She ghosted me about 9 months ago and, I'm embarrassed to say, I'm still thinking about it and have done every day. I don't get why this happens to me. I work out at the gym and I feel that I am a decent looking guy, I study hard for school and do well. I put more effort into things than she did so why does this happen. I feel like a mug for still being annoyed about it because why would I want to be with someone who ditched me but for some reason I can't get it out of my mind, I'm annoyed because it would've been so easy for things to just go the way I wanted. I asked a girl at my school who I'd been talking to if she wanted to go for a walk at lunch and she said she had to go home at lunch so I just said fair enough and she stopped talking to me. I'm autistic and a bit awkward but I try to take care of my appearance so I just don't get why I get basically no female attention from girls around my own age?

The language I have mainly used is Python because it is the language we use at sixth form but over summer I'd like to learn C or assembly. I have read books on how computers physically work and I have a decent intuition on how machine code is actually processed by the CPU. My end goal is to have enough knowledge of computer programming to be able to write my own compiler and my own programs. I feel that I would like to write a compiler in assembly, even if its a really simple compiler, I just want to be able to know the fundamentals about how compilers work, I'm not really bothered about it being very optimised as long as it works properly. I plan to first read a book on C to try to become comfortable with the language. I plan to read "The C programming language" by Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan. I have programmed a bit in C from a book which I borrowed and it seems like it makes sense. I would just like some advice on what I should know before planning on writing my own complier from scratch.