27F stunted and trapped with narcissistic parents- anyone else?
can I actually escape my abusive/controlling parents in a foreign country with low funds, no work visa, and no jobs yet without ending up homeless?
I (27F) feel like a failure though I know this isn’t my fault. I am a U.S. citizen stuck in a foreign country with my parents who have abused and controlled me my entire life. They’ve stunted me so badly — they had eight children and parentified me from a very young age while pretending I was stupid and too young to know anything. They never taught me anything practical about life; I had to figure out almost everything myself. Every time I tried to have a job or stay in school they made it impossible to finish by berating me, selling my car, and sabotaging me. Independence was always used as a threat — they would threaten to kick me out, but when I actually tried to leave they would suddenly pretend they loved me and act like it was ridiculous for me to want to leave them. My father took my phone away from me even when I was 21, and the last time he tried it I was 25. I’m very, very stunted because of all this. This is only a small part of the things they’ve done.
I’ve done a good bit of substitute teaching, but because of their control and abuse I still have almost no real work experience and I don’t have a degree. I’m on a no-work visa here, so I can’t even legally get a job to save more money while I try to plan my escape. They are now talking about going to China as the next crazy place, and I don’t want to live in this foreign country or China. I only have low funds in the bank and no other family or support anywhere in the world.
I’m desperate to return to the U.S. independently in the next 1-2 months, but I feel so overwhelmed, angry, and stressed that this feels impossible with so little money. I just want to start over somewhere safe without ending up on the street. I feel trapped.
Has anyone here actually done something like this? Left abusive or extremely controlling/toxic parents later in life with almost nothing and actually made it work without becoming homeless?
I really need advice on how to make money quickly with almost no experience and no degree — or how others in similar situations did it and what I should do. Any success stories, warnings, or real advice from people who felt exactly this angry, stressed, and trapped during their escape and/or a donation would mean everything to me right now.
Thank you.