u/Regular-Chard7669

My husband (44M) and I (40F) are very lucky to have two healthy, wonderful little boys (5 and almost 2). I know how fortunate we are, and I never want to sound ungrateful for the family we already have.
But I’m struggling with something I can’t seem to move past emotionally.
I’ve always imagined having a bigger family. If it were entirely up to me, I’d probably have four children, though realistically I think I would feel very happy with three. My husband, however, feels completely done at two. He says he’s exhausted, feels older now, and is looking forward to getting some freedom back as the kids grow up. He’s very firm that he does not want another child.
The hard part is that logically I understand his position. We started having children later, parenting young kids is intense, and he’s allowed to feel the way he feels. He’s a good dad and a good husband. He isn’t being cruel about it, he’s just very certain.
But emotionally, I feel a real sense of grief at the idea that I may never have another baby. It feels less like a “preference” and more like something deeply instinctive or biological that I can’t switch off. I look at families with three or four children and feel a genuine ache. I think about future family dinners, siblings growing up together, Christmases years from now and I feel sadness that our family may already be complete when I don’t feel ready for it to be.
I think part of what’s difficult is that there’s no real compromise on this issue. One person ultimately gets the life they wanted, and the other has to let go of something deeply important to them.
I’m not looking for ways to pressure or convince him. I know a child has to be a “two yes” decision. I think I’m just trying to understand whether anyone else has been through this. Did you eventually make peace with it? And in any cases, did your partner ever genuinely change their mind with time?