u/Recent_Bluebird3284

I am extremely sick even with suboxone When will this stop?? Get better??? In day 2 right now and so terrified

Hi all.

Seeking support and advice here. I am a first time cat owner doing a foster to adopt trial — cat was a former stray found when she was about one year old, then lived with the previous foster for a year, so she’s two now.

I am probably massively overthinking this…but I am worried I made a terrible mistake and have irreparably damaged our possible bond!

The first day, she hid for about 3 hours and then when she popped her head out I was so surprised. I thought she’d be hiding for at least a day! She ate, used the litter box, groomed herself and explored all over the house the first evening. She even came up to check on me several times while exploring the house. I was elated because she was opening up so much faster than I expected. She was coming up for pets and rolling over on her tummy, so enthusiastically that she fell off the dang bed twice the first night.

We continued to have a great first week together. She was already so comfy with me and each day slept a little closer to me and then on the bed. Each day when she came to hang on the bed with me she always rested a little closer to me. Then she snuggled up against me and had a snooze and it was the sweetest thing ever, I was so overjoyed. the foster told me she can be a bit spicy at times - I observed this when I pet a certain spot on her back while we were hanging out and she gave me a soft hiss and I stopped right away. And he told me she absolutely hates being picked up so I respected that.

Then Monday night she sort of “stole” my spot on the bed. I really upset her in my attempts to move her. I tried to scoot her over by pretending like I was going to sit there (dumb mistake). She didn’t move so I started to pull the pillow she was on top of - BIG mistake. She hissed and swatted at me and I instantly backed off.

Anyway, since then I feel like she has pulled away from me. She is sleeping in other spots more, hanging out on the bed less and when she does it’s farther away from me. She does not ask for affection much anymore. I feel so terrible about making this mistake because I feel like I broke the bond we were building.

I’ve responded by leaving her alone and engaging with her through lots of play which has been successful. The foster said she wasn’t playful but I’ve found that actually she really is! The thing is that I’m still really upset about the fact that she’s pulled away affection wise. I know that’s my fault but it still hurts.

And I know it’s only been a week so there’s plenty of time and I should be patient. I’m just coming to ask advice about whether I’ve permanently messed up our bond or whether it can be repaired with time. If people have stories specifically about hot and cold behavior after adopting I’d appreciate that too. I could understand if she’s cooled down on affection as part of the adjustment process.