u/Reasonable-Rub7064

My older brother was the first graduate in our family and the first one to go abroad on scholarship after fighting a rare aggressive cancer for 2 years in Pakistan. During that time, we siblings became extremely close. We survived hospitals, stress, dark humor, hope, all of it together.

Before everything got worse, our family even made our first proper trip together to Islamabad. Hiking, Faisal Mosque, small moments. Those memories matter a lot now.

Later my brother went to the UK, but the cancer returned more aggressively. Doctors said only a couple people had that specific condition. While he was there, he tried to invite me so I could spend time with him during treatment because we handled everything together emotionally. My visa got rejected. Then rejected again. That still haunts me because I never got to properly be there for him before he passed away.

There’s another complicated part too. One influencer girl connected to his story started sharing parts of it online and grew quickly from it. There were family pressures, misunderstandings, and emotional drama around marriage discussions and support during his illness. I don’t even want to attack anyone publicly. I’m just tired of performative people around pain and loss.

Now I genuinely want to restart life a bit.

I want to travel somewhere affordable first. Maybe Sri Lanka, Turkey, Bali, Singapore, or somewhere realistic for a Pakistani passport holder. Not luxury travel. Just something meaningful that helps me breathe again, build travel history, possibly meet real people who help him in uk without darama , and slowly open opportunities internationally.

If anyone here:
• knows genuine travel agents
• understands Pakistani visa/travel struggles
• knows affordable countries with easier visas
• has scholarship, volunteering, creator, or networking advice
• or simply has practical guidance

I’d honestly appreciate it.

I’m planning to start within the next few months if possible.

My father is 60. He’s slowing down physically, and my mother has started a narrative that he is "lazy" and "did nothing" for us. She claims her brothers and her own hard work are the only reason we survived. But there is a much deeper, sadder story here that my siblings and mom are ignoring.
The Background:
My father’s life was shaped by duty, not love. His mother died when he was young, and he was raised by a stepmother in a home where he felt unwanted. He spent his youth staying out of the house because nobody asked him to come home. Then, my grandfather forced him into a cousin marriage just to maintain his "aura" and status among relatives.
My father never chose this life. Because he grew up without a mother or a loving home, he lacks basic social skills. I’ve had to privately teach him things like not making noise while eating—things a parent usually teaches a child.
The Emotional Gap:
Because he was never shown love, he didn't know how to show it to us. He was distant. We grew up jealous because he would show warmth to other people’s kids but not his own. After the marriage, he found a female friend—the only person he seemingly ever truly connected with. When they stopped talking, I saw him cry over the phone. He found love, lost it, and is still looking for it outside because he doesn't know how to find it with us.
The Crisis:
Now that he’s 60 and can’t provide like he used to, my mom is bitter. My siblings are "mentally fucked up" because they feel they have to choose my mother's side and view Dad as a burden.
I want them to understand that everyone makes mistakes. My father isn't "lazy"—he is a man who was never mentored, never loved, and forced into a life he didn't choose. He did the work he could, even if it wasn't enough for my mother's standards.
My Goal:
As the oldest brother left, I want to lead my family toward acceptance. How do I help my mother and siblings see the "human" in my father instead of the "provider"? How do I support a father who is searching for love everywhere except home?