AIO - Am I overthinking my current job?
TLDR; Got fired from a graphic design job last year after only two months despite constantly asking for feedback and trying to improve, which left me really anxious about jobs and probation periods.
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Now I’m almost three months into a hotel receptionist job I genuinely enjoy, but every mistake makes me spiral into thinking I’ll get fired again. A colleague double-checking my work today and reacting oddly to a joke I made about my probation period triggered that anxiety hard, even though my boss has said I’m doing well overall aside from small mistakes.
To give some context, I had a rough year employment-wise. I landed a well-paid graphic design job, but it fell apart after only two months. I made mistakes, but I constantly asked for feedback and ways to improve. I even requested a performance sheet after my first month so I could fix issues early, but instead, they used that same sheet to fire me a month later.
Another thing that messed with me mentally was that another designer and I were hired at the same time, and I always felt like we were silently being compared or put into some kind of internal competition. Since then, I’ve become really anxious about jobs and probation periods.
Now I’m about two months into a hotel receptionist job, and overall I genuinely enjoy it. It’s my first time doing this kind of work, and I feel like things have been going fairly well. Still, every time I make a mistake, I spiral into thoughts about getting fired or needing to job hunt again.
Today, a colleague was double-checking some of my work, and after I joked about my probation period coming up, she shrugged it off in a way that left me with an odd feeling. It instantly triggered my anxiety.
At the same time, I do know what mistakes I need to fix, and my boss has told me I’m doing well overall aside from small hiccups. Rationally, I know that if I were truly doing badly, they probably would’ve already let me go. But I still can’t stop overthinking everything...