u/RamsGal6

I'm posting here because I've gotten a lot of support from this group in the past and a lot of patience. I'm in a very dark place this weekend. It's just all a reminder that I don't have my son, that I was a piece of shit mother to him, and what a failure I am as a mom. I've been keeping sobriety but I'm in a dark place and am wondering if I care about the consequences of dulling the pain. Need to just reach out to as many people as I can.

My son is currently in foster care because the state took him because of my substance abuse and things my substance abuse led me to do. I have a pending felony charge and an ankle monitor so I get tested for drugs and alcohol as a bail condition. That's been keeping me sober but not having my baby with me for Mother's Day has me in a really dark place. I just want to get fucked up and forget what a piece of shit I've been and if they revoke my bond then fuck it I'll be where I belong. I'm spiraling bad.