I have lived in Canada alone for almost 10 years and met my 'now fiance' three years ago. I have gotten ambushed a bunch of times by them including our engagement. (We got engaged in 2024 when my parents were here even though we wanted to wait until summer 2025). His father has always been the deciding authority to the point that its his way or the highway. He convinced my parents to do the wedding in Canada even though all of my family is located in India, and so is his.
Fast-forward to last week, my father had to undergo a surgery, due to which he was given a no-go to travel for at least six months (recovery period) since the surgery took almost 3-4 hours. I told my fiance as to how getting married here would be a compromise, which he agreed to, however, his parents made some comments which I found were indecent and insensitive. His father decided to break the news to me and rather than giving me a moment to process, put my mother on the phone right away to talk (you cannot ask me to be strong when my father is in the hospital and his surgery is serious). They knew about the surgery since friday (which is when it took place), broke the news to me on sunday, which he was never asked to and I would've rather my mom or my fiance break it to me and was really normal, talking about the wedding the whole weekend. My fiance brought up the fact that we wanted to postpone it so my parents could be here and what would she have done if something of this sort happened to his father, to which she responded, 'we would not let you pause your life because of your father', in short, the show must go on. His mother also said that they were waiting for my mom to bring up the wedding and what to do when my common sense says that she is already busy in the hospital with my father and probably torn in being with my father or me.
I flipped hearing this especially a bunch of things his parents have said in the past and think if I should just maintain a boundary with them or am I just overreacting?
The wedding was already hard for me since I lost my father when I was 10 and he is my step-father and means the world to me and my brother was probably not going to attend it either and with my parents not coming at all, I find it selfish that they still might want to continue things as usual.