u/Purple_Grass_5300

At 4 months pregnant my husband blindsided me as I was in the hospital hemorrhaging saying we should just divorce because I always make him the bad guy.

I thought things were better than ever; we had been trying for 7 months to get pregnant and had a toddler at home. There were zero arguments and I treated him amazing, the only answer he would give is that I was selfish and only asked about myself. I was thankful for text message history which clearly showed that wasn’t the case. He disappeared for 60 days, and the day I met with a divorce attorney he came home. I didn’t even realize at the time how it was related. He stayed home until I gave birth but clearly something had changed.

10 weeks postpartum I finally went public and that’s when I learned he cheated with over 25 women and men. I got a ton of apologies and yet 3 days later learned he cheated again and filed divorce. Last month I found out now he’s in a 2 year relationship and told his mother, his gf, etc that our youngest child isn’t his. He said documents that show child support and custody were forged, he went as far as telling his mom he got a paternity test and she’s not his, so not something he could ever say “oh just kidding she’s mine” later on.

At the time I found out he was doing weekly visits supervised by me. I told him we needed time and that I didn’t feel comfortable supervising the visit knowing he was telling everyone he’s not her father but he demanded he show up. Well he did on 3/15 and told our 4 year old he hates her and wishes he wasn’t her father. He hasn’t done a visit since

It still shocks me that this was a man who I was married to 14 years. A man who planned these pregnancies and we talked about it for 2 years. And just seeing how many lies and how much destruction he caused. I grieved an entire life, marriage, while freshly postpartum and he never grieved. He just was off in a honeymoon phase.

He does pay $2000 in child support so that was his only consequence of this all, but it’s so stressful wondering if he really is gone forever. There was nothing, zero discussion. Zero apology. I can see he read my last message on 4/8 where I listed out the hell he put us through but nothing. I went to court after he said he hates my 4 year old and they declined my motion ruling he has supervised visits indefinitely but that I had to be the one to supervise.

I did discover a breeding fetish, two secret kids and him cheating with over 100 women off that website. I know he’s still cheating on the new gf so it’s not like he’s suddenly a better guy, but it’s wild to me still that he gets to tell everyone I’m just a crazy ex and that one kid isn’t his and people believe it. He coaches youth basketball but can’t be around his own kids unsupervised.

I truly hope he’s gone forever but so many times I see people posting similar blindsides. Their husband saying they’re selfish or their husbands blaming them for everything. In 7 months he didn’t give me any real explanation. He ridiculed me for months saying I was over dramatic or over sensitive, or saying how I was crazy. Even with proof coming through he never admitted more than what I had in front of me. He’d swear on his mother’s life but nope; all lies. So if anybody else is in this situation and nothing makes sense, it really can be so much worse than you’d ever imagine.

Looking back, the only thing I wish I did differently is stand up for myself. When he texted about a divorce or needing space I wish I said fuck you bye and never begged for answers and I wish knew back then me and my kids are all the family we needed and he’s missing out on the kids not us missing a father/husband.

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