Ungrateful stepkids
I regularly read on here about ungrateful and spoiled stepkids. My (29f) stepkids (3f, 6m) are ungrateful as well. They want everything, do not like anything they get, and will not lift a finger to do anything themselves (like putting away their shoes). They expect to be treated likes prince and princess, and although this might be normal at such a young age, I would have loved it if they were more grateful and humble.
I get it though, after a divorce, the kids are being spoiled to compensate. I saw it when I met my husband when the 6 year old was only 3,5. He got new toys every week and everything was done for him. BM still does this and it really shows. She always takes the kids somewhere expensive. Always compensates by buying toys (oh we didnt have time to go to the playground today? You can pick out a new toy instead). Its driving me insane. I was raised to be very very grateful. My mom stayed home with us and my dad was always at work. We didnt have a car so my mom would occasionally take us somewhere by bus, and we would get toys on our birthday or like special occasions. We never went somewhere on the weekends. It was just us playing outside. We would go on vacation for 1 week during the summer. My mom always jokes that we never even asked for candy or ice cream or toys. I know this is the other end of the spectrum, but now these kids grow up with all these expectations to be taken somewhere all the time. To get new things all the time. To immediately get a drink whenever they are thirsty. And I hate it!!
I would love to spoil them in a maturing way. You know, like grandma's do. Making them food, buying something small occasionally, making sure they are fully loved and cared for. But nothing is enough for these kids. I would like to tidy their room for them, because "they are just kids". But I cannot get myself to care for them this way because nothing is ever enough. There's always skmethjng wrong. When I make them a special lunch, they dont want it because they dont fancy it. When I tidy their room, I put thing in the wrong places. When I take them somewhere on the weekends, they actively hate it. And its not specifically me, they also do it to my husband. They are conditioned the be ungrateful and negative.
My husband and I are on the same page, and we tried so hard to raise them differently. We grew up the same way and we both are extremely annoyed by their ungratefulness. My husband has admitted that he spoiled them too much after the divorce, and sometimes he still struggles with being a stricter parent. He often asks me if he is being too harsh, or if they can be children at our home, about things that are completely normal in my eyes.
I think I just wanted to vent but any advice is welcome.