u/Proof-Training-740

Whenever I feel okay, I feel positive to try new things, I tell myself “if it were to happen, it’d all be okay! But as soon as I start feeling sick, I panic so badly it feels as if my entire body is lifting out of itself, everything feels distant and it’s just so weird. experiences like those only reinforces my fear. If that happens just due to anxiety, imagine when it does actually happen.

I can’t even imagine the fact it will happen one day, sorry to be TMI, but the feeling, the anxiety, the sensations, taste, smell, all of it, I can’t.

I just find it crazy that people will just never think about throwing up when it’s all I think about all day long. I’m seeing my friend soon and we want to cut our hair, eat out together... and I just can’t but I know if it put it off it’ll get worse, but then if I do it, I risk the possibility of throwing up which is unlikely but anxiety mimics it so well. It’s such an irrational fear but It’s dictating my whole life, there are so many places or things I can’t do anymore. I have to be in a certain distance to my house, within a time limit otherwise I panic and feel like I can’t escape & home in my safety ofc.

Sorry if this sounds like a rant, just how do I be okay with it? I wish my brain just knew it was okay like other people, I’m juggling so much anxiety and we only live once.. I don’t want to regret living because I was scared to be sick, a normal bodily response :(

I am quite an avid philosophical reader, however I felt quite disappointed to how the book ultimately amounted to less than I expected. It opened with quite coherent ideas but gradually became quite dense and difficult to engage with.

What I took from the book is its central question: if life has no inherent meaning, why do we continue to live? He used Sisyphus to symbolise our human existence, depicting him as perpetually pushing a rock up a hill, amounting to be ultimately unrewarding, mirroring human life and routines.

We constantly seek meaning, maybe because we are inherently curious and always in a state of becoming, however, life itself offers no inherent meaning; we construct beliefs and systems to deny this deeper reality. As Camus suggests, “they negate its profound truth, which is to be enchained."

I loved the ultimate meaning of the book, but hated the way it was delivered. Maybe I'm not used to Camus' work, nor did I have any background knowledge to the book. I recognise that the work is structured as an essay, and that its philosophical groundwork is intended to contextualise the story, but I found it difficult to follow and somewhat incoherent. Perhaps my interpretation is completely wrong or I was not ready to read this, but I'm just wondering if it's just me who felt this way about it?