Am I wrong for cutting off my mom after a lifetime of favoritism and emotional abuse?
I (adult F) grew up feeling like my mom never wanted me. She always wanted a boy, but instead had two girls first. My entire childhood she body shamed me, told me I’d never be worth anything, and acted like none of my relationships or accomplishments mattered.
Now that I’ve moved out, she’s started treating my younger sister the same way.
Recently, my sister called me upset. Our mom bought a car for my sister and our brother to share. They’re only a year apart and got their licenses around the same time, but my mom specifically waited until my brother was ready before getting the car.
The other day, my mom got mad at my sister for having her boyfriend over. During the argument, my sister called her a bitch. In response, my mom said the car they share is now “only your brother’s.” Not because of safety or responsibility—just out of anger.
I called my mom calmly to talk about it. I told her I didn’t think it was healthy to use possessions or threats to punish her kids when she’s angry, and that it felt like she was trying to provoke a reaction by taking the car away from my sister and giving it to my brother.
She told me it’s fine when my brother calls her a bitch, but it’s not fine when my sister does. I told her that’s clearly picking sides. She denied it.
What really got me is that she claimed my brother has never disrespected her. I’ve personally witnessed him scream in her face, call her names, and even say he hoped she would die. But she insists none of that ever happened and that only my sister and I have ever disrespected her.
At this point, I feel like I’m watching history repeat itself with my sister. I’m exhausted from a lifetime of emotional abuse, favoritism, and denial of reality.
Am I wrong for wanting to cut her off completely?