My mother is trying to force me onto birth control and into giving her access to my devices
Hi there, this post is.. exactly what the title says, my mother [F, 56], keeps trying to force me [AFAB, 18], back onto birth control, witch i have previously had a bad reaction to, my father [M, 63], won't do anything about the situation, and usually agrees with my mother. I feel it is also important to note that I am special needs [multiple disorders that I won't be disclosing]
Both my parents are very 'this is my house, you'll follow my rules while you're here living under my roof', which is fine, other than many, many restrictions about things. My mother, whom I'll now just refer to as 'J', won't go to bed until I do, causing her to enforce a strict bedtime for me, despite the fact that I'm a legal adult who is fully able to make my own choices. Due to my disabilities, despite the fact that I have proven multiple times that I am fully able to do what is needed of me, and able to not only comprehend, but deeply understand my choices, she has decided that I must be incompetent.
About a year ago, I decided to stop taking my birth control due to not enjoying how it made me feel or look. I gained weight while I was taking it, and it caused me severe mental health issues, including depression and body dysmorphia. Due to those reasons, I made the choice not to take it anymore, especially because of the fact that whenever I'd stop taking it, it would take a month or more for my period to actually come.
It took a couple of months after I quit the pill, but my periods now come regularly [usually between 24-30 days between cycles, from what I've read, pretty standard], however, as of the last three to four months, J has started insisting I go back onto the pill because it would, her words, "even me out" because my periods are "too close together, mine were never like that"
I use an app to track my period, and it's been consistently within the same range of time, so I assume my body has found a rhythm it likes, but I'm starting to get worn out with the constant fights and discourse that my answer of "no" has caused. Today, when I got home from school, she brought it up again. I made my usual argument, and she said I was "Uneducated with an opinion I got from some dumbass YouTuber who's filling your head with stupid, thoughtless ideas", entirely dismissing the fact I thought of it myself, had mentioned it before, and had stopped before till she forced me back on.
In the past, venturing into now, she's also demanded my phone and laptop passwords. During the summer last year, she went to a group of other 'special needs kids' parents, who all agreed that "your child not giving you their password isn't them wanting privacy, but them hiding something from you, and you should be concerned."
The whole thing feels like it was a fear tactic for parents to be overprotective, and if I were younger or less able-minded than I am, I'd understand it, but I'm an adult who is mostly normal in terms of ability, and it feels infantilizing for her to demand the ability to go through my things.
I'm tired of the constant fights and need advice, because what am I supposed to do here? I am trapped with constant fights about everything, whether it be my medication or my online privacy.