u/Prior-Emu-5918

I didn't even realize he was doing it. But before I get into it too much, let's start at the beginning.

We have this new professor in our graduate program and she clearly doesn't really know what she's doing. And we had this really big project due for our final. Everybody got really terrible scores, and honestly, it was clear at the professor didn't really emphasize what she wanted enough. So she met with each group individually in a small conference room away from the other classmates. So as my crush, another girl named "Kimberly" and I sit down, the professor tells us that she's concerned about us because everybody got different scores. My crush said "but me and Kimberly got the same score". The professor "yeah well Nicole (me) got a different score."

My crush went off on the professor. When this was happening I thought he was so rude. Like we were all frustrated with the professors lack of direction and that's why I thought he was getting so amped up about. So I thought it was unusually harsh considering the situation.

I mostly forgot about it and then really say much. Only for him to reveal months later that part of the reason why he got so mad was because the professor unfairly singled me out.

It's honestly pretty late to have Applications open. But I guess they really need people. Anyway, I'm a student and I am more than happy to give you information about the school if you're interested in going or if you've already accepted.

To a certain degree, I can't be too upset with it because there's a good chunk of the girls that are between the ages of like 22 to 23. There's like two 21 year olds. Maybe three or four 25-year-olds. A good quarter of 27 and 28-year-olds. And I don't know. It's very much like high school. There'll be birthday parties and hangouts where half the cohort is invited. One of my friends was put into a group project with two other people and these two girls are part of the "mean girl" clique. It's hard to explain because these girls aren't openly mean, but they have that sort of energy where it's like "we only like talking to each other and no one else". And anyway, they ended up freezing her out the group project and complaining to the professors that she wasn't doing any of the work. There was a celebration couple weeks ago a little less than half the cohort was invited. It's very clear that the people invited were popular. Entire groups (the less popular ones) weren't invited.

I was in a small graduate program (12 people), and there was this guy “Alex” (23-24M) and girl “Kate.” (23-24F) I’m trying to figure out what his behavior meant.

Alex is an international student, more introverted but became popular in class. Kate is shy with noticeable social anxiety and struggled to speak in class.

At the beginning, Alex mostly ignored Kate and paid more attention to another girl. Kate tried to be friendly, but he seemed uninterested.

Over time, though, things got mixed:

He started waiting for her after class and walking out with her

Noticed small things about her (like when she wasn’t joining group activities)

Defended her when a professor singled her out unfairly

Encouraged her when she spoke and seemed genuinely happy when she participated

Made eye contact with her during personal moments (like birthdays)

But at the same time:

He sometimes ignored her or shut her down mid-conversation

He seemed more consistently engaged with another girl (we’ll call her “Sam” (23F))—sitting next to her, focusing attention on her, light physical touch, etc.

He could be warm one day and distant the next

The biggest moment:

Kate invited the whole class to her birthday. Alex showed up with a huge bouquet of flowers (like 3 dozen roses) and was very attentive. He also brought food to another event she hosted.

After that though:

He didn’t really escalate things or try to get closer one-on-one

Still divided attention between her and others (especially Sam)

Later:

They graduate, he moves away

At first, he watches all her social media stories quickly

Then gradually stops interacting with her completely (but still interacts with other classmates online)

Now it seems like he’s intentionally avoiding her online.

I was in a small graduate program (12 people), and there was this guy “Alex” (23-24M) and girl “Kate.” (23-24F) I’m trying to figure out what his behavior meant.

Alex is an international student, more introverted but became popular in class. Kate is shy with noticeable social anxiety and struggled to speak in class.

At the beginning, Alex mostly ignored Kate and paid more attention to another girl. Kate tried to be friendly, but he seemed uninterested.

Over time, though, things got mixed:

He started waiting for her after class and walking out with her

Noticed small things about her (like when she wasn’t joining group activities)

Defended her when a professor singled her out unfairly

Encouraged her when she spoke and seemed genuinely happy when she participated

Made eye contact with her during personal moments (like birthdays)

But at the same time:

He sometimes ignored her or shut her down mid-conversation

He seemed more consistently engaged with another girl (we’ll call her “Sam” (23F))—sitting next to her, focusing attention on her, light physical touch, etc.

He could be warm one day and distant the next

The biggest moment:

Kate invited the whole class to her birthday. Alex showed up with a huge bouquet of flowers (like 3 dozen roses) and was very attentive. He also brought food to another event she hosted.

After that though:

He didn’t really escalate things or try to get closer one-on-one

Still divided attention between her and others (especially Sam)

Later:

They graduate, he moves away

At first, he watches all her social media stories quickly

Then gradually stops interacting with her completely (but still interacts with other classmates online)

Now it seems like he’s intentionally avoiding her online.