u/Prestigious_Swan_916

I’m 27M and this happened with someone I’ve been seeing for a few months, 26F. We weren’t officially labeled yet, but we were consistent. We saw each other regularly, talked daily, and it felt like things were moving in that direction.

There was no reason for me to question anything until something small caught my attention. We were out together and she asked me to check something on her phone while she was driving. I unlocked it and a notification popped up from a messaging app. It showed my number, but the name saved wasn’t mine. It was something generic. Not even a nickname, just a label that didn’t connect to me at all.

At first, I thought maybe I misunderstood. But when I opened the contacts to check, my number was saved under that same label. I asked her about it casually. She brushed it off and said she just hadn’t updated it yet. That didn’t make sense. We’d been talking for months. My name had come up countless times. There’s no reason my contact would still be saved like that unless it was intentional. I didn’t push it in that moment, but it stayed in my head. Later that night, I brought it up again and asked directly why my name wasn’t saved properly. She hesitated before answering. Then she said it was just easier that way. That answer didn’t explain anything.

I asked what she meant by easier, and that’s when it started to come out. She admitted that she kept certain contacts labeled vaguely so that if someone else saw her phone, it wouldn’t raise questions. That hit immediately. Because that meant I wasn’t just a contact. I was someone she didn’t want clearly identified. I asked if there was someone else who would question my name being there. She avoided the question at first, then said it wasn’t serious and that I was overthinking it.

But from my perspective, it was clear. My name was hidden for a reason. I told her I wasn’t comfortable continuing something where I had to be disguised in her phone. She said I was making a big deal out of something small. We haven’t really talked properly since. So AITJ for questioning it and pulling back after finding out my name was intentionally saved under a different label?

tldr: noticed my number saved under a random label in the girl I’m seeing’s phone. she admitted it was so no one else would question it. I distanced myself, now she says I overreacted.