How did y'all heal from your avoidant breakup? I got emotionally abused by him and abondoned. Struggling to heal
We started off as friends- online friends which i didn't think too much about. He confessed his feelings to me after 5 months of friendship which I didn't much for. And after flirting for two months, he asked me out to which I said yes.
I was with this man for seven months. He was avoidant to began with. What all he did to me? To began with- His confession of his feelings to me was total sham. He wanted to learn that art of manipulation and was using me for it.
He, for 7 months made me believe, that I was the women he wanted from starting. That he always wanted me. That he is very serious about me. But, that wasn't true. He had a crush. He wanted to make her jealous so he asked me out. His two friends who knew about it and are female, didn't encourage him to come clean or anything- just enabled him.
After our third date, on which I gave him a will you be mine letter, to which he responded yes- He goes back and messages his crush if she wants him. I got cheated on first day of relationship.
I trusted him and believed him that he wanted me badly and I ended up getting physical with him on that basis- misrepresentation of facts. It's something I truly regret.
oh, it gets worse.
When confronted, he initially promised to built back trust and said ily for first time. He took it back the next day and broke up with me. Three days before my dad's death anniversary and a week before my exam. I was barely functioning at that time.
He returned my belongings and wrote a very abusive message to me at 3 in night blaming me for everything. Blaming me for checking his phone and shouting on him too much. I developed severe insomnia after that and began drinking. Running away from life by taking trips after trips.
On Friday, he wrote me a very cruel letter saying he's got a new girlfriend and that he wishes to archives me. I got an apology from him three months later, but only because he wanted to clear his conscience- to never contact him again.
I am broken for last few days - unable to function and having panic attacks. I would appreciate some advice on how to heal. I am a college student and in third year, yet struggling a lot.
TLDR- Cheated on first day of relationship, manipulation, took my virginity 15 days after he asked his crush if she wanted him (that happened when I asked him if he wanted to be mine, to which he said yes), hide critical things, blamed me for his faults, manipulated me for seven months, used me.