u/Plus-Staff1639

The thing is, during a friends’ outing (there were about 6 of us), one of my friends (let’s call her V) asked the boyfriend of a now ex-friend (J and C, respectively) to follow her on Instagram so she could tag him in a group photo she took of all of us. It was just a nice, harmless gesture to include everyone. But the girlfriend immediately jumped in and said, “And why do you want him to follow you?”, even though the reason had already been explained.

Days later, J told me that when they got home, C made a whole drama about it, saying things like, “I imagine you’re going to unfollow her, right?”. That already felt ridiculous to me, and I later told my friend about how C was creating problems over something as trivial as an Instagram follow.

On top of that, I had another issue with C. Some time before all this, she accidentally spilled coffee on my laptop and said she would take care of repairing it. I didn’t get mad about the accident itself, since those things happen, but what really bothered me was her attitude afterward. She’s had my laptop for 2 months and basically did nothing. She told me she was going to give it to her mom to send it for repair, but when I asked her about the status, she left me on “seen.”

So I decided to contact her mom directly, just in case. Her mom told me she knew absolutely nothing about it and said she would ask her daughter what was going on. Only after C got home did she reply to me, claiming she didn’t have data to answer earlier… even though she clearly had enough to open and read my message.

Another situation is with J. Around 2 p.m. one day, he texted me to “talk while we waited to go play beach volleyball.” I didn’t even open the message because I already knew how it would go: a vague “let’s talk” without actually addressing anything he did that caused distance between us.

For context, he had spent about a week and a half at the beach with C and didn’t bother to reach out once. That really bothered me, because I’ve made it clear before that I don’t like inconsistent or absent friendships. I ended up muting and archiving his chat. We’ve already had conversations in the past where I explained what bothered me, he agreed to everything, and then nothing changed.

He also invited me to his birthday about a month ago, but I didn’t go. I was dealing with my dad’s surgery, and honestly, with everything going on, pretending everything was fine felt exhausting and uncomfortable.

At this point, it’s just a buildup of frustration: unnecessary jealousy, lack of responsibility, poor communication, and friendships that don’t feel mutual anymore.

Something specific that happened with a couple I was friends with, it was a somewhat complex dynamic.

The thing is that on a friends' outing (there were like 6 of us) my friend (let's call him V, asked the boyfriend of a now ex-friend (J and C, respectively) to follow her on Instagram so she could tag him in a photo she took of all of us, a nice detail to include us all in the photo in passing. The girlfriend immediately joined in saying "And why do you want him to follow you?" (obviously she had already said why). Days later I found out from J that he told me personally that The girlfriend made a drama of it when they got home, saying, "I imagine you're going to unfollow her, right?" Then I told my friend about the fact that C was making trouble because of a stupid Instagram follow with her friend from 2 years ago.

That month I confronted C about something that happened before all the Instagram drama, an accident where he spilled coffee on my laptop and had to fix it, obviously accidents happen and I'm not going to get upset about it. The issue arose because I was greatly overwhelmed by her attitude toward fixing my computer (she's had it for 2 months) and yesterday I spoke to her to ask about the status of the repair (in case she had sent it, and she didn't, when she previously told me that she was going to give it to her mother to send it).

She proceeded to leave my message in "seen" and consequently I decided to go and ask her mother in case she knew anything about it, she told me that she didn't know ANYTHING about it and that she was going to exhaustively consult her daughter (that is C) to find out why she had my computer 2 months ago and didn't do anything about it when the daughter got home (because apparently she was at her mother-in-law's house and her boyfriend J is traveling in Brazil).

When the daughter arrives home, only then does she reply to the message I sent her justifying that she did not have data to respond (but she did have data to leave my message on "seen")

PS: As an important fact, a friend told me that she had planned to go to Brazil with her boyfriend, but her mother told her no, so she stayed in the country.

Another situation is that around 2 p.m. J wrote to me to "invite me to talk while we waited for the time to play a beach volleyball game to approach." I didn't even mark seeing the message, since I knew where the ends were going, a "let's talk" and never about what he did that required a talk to understand the reason for my distance from him. Context: He had gone to the beach for a week and a half with his C and in everything he was there, he never deigned to write anything, this made me quite bitter, since I had previously expressed my distaste for friendships that are not constant or present, so I proceeded to archive his chat and silence him (previously we had already had "chats" where I was the one who talked about what made me uncomfortable or bothered and he said everything yes and then it came to nothing, but well, I chose believe).

On his birthday (almost a month ago he had told me that he was invited, clearly I was not planning to go, since I had my father's operation and honestly this whole thing and on top of that having to pretend that everything is fine made me a lot uncomfortable.

[The sequences are disordered, but it expresses the dynamics a little, there is more but these are the triggers basically =P ]

• La cuestión es que en una salida de amigos (éramos como 6) mi amiga (digámosle V, le pidió al novio de una ahora ex amiga (J y C, respectivamente) que la siga en Instagram así podía etiquetarlo en una foto que nos sacó a todos, un lindo detalle incluirnos a todos en la foto de paso. La novia enseguida saltó diciendo "¿Y para qué querés que te siga?" (obviamente ya había dicho para qué). Todos nos quedamos mirándonos como diciendo “a esta le falla”. Cuestión, días después me entero por J que me contó personalmente que la novia le hizo drama cuando llegaron a la casa diciéndole "me imagino que la vas a dejar de seguir ¿no? Entonces agarré y le conté a a mi amiga la cuestión de que C estaba armando problema por un follow choto de Instagram con una amiga de hace 2 años.
• En ese mes confronté a C sobre algo que pasó antes de todo el drama de Instagram, un accidente que se le cayó café encima de mi laptop y quedó en arreglarla, obviamente los accidentes pasan y no me voy a calentar por eso. Cuestión, se produjo debido a que me rebasó enormemente su actitud que tuvo frente al arreglo de mi computadora (hace 2 meses la tiene) y ayer le hablé para consultarle sobre el estado de la reparación (por si la había enviado, y no la envió, cuando previamente me dijo que iba a dársela a su madre para que la envíe). Procedió a clavarme el visto y por consecuente decidí acudir a consultarle a su madre por si sabía algo al respecto, ella me dijo que no estaba enterada de NADA al respecto y que iba a consultar exhaustivamente a su hija (o sea C) para saber por qué tenía mi computadora hace 2 meses y no hizo nada al respecto cuando la hija llegara a la casa (porque aparentemente estaba en la casa de la suegra y su novio J está de viaje en Brasil). Cuando llega la hija a la casa, recién ahí me contesta el mensaje que le envié justificándose que no tenía datos para responder (pero sí tenía datos para dejarme el visto)

PD: Como dato no menor, una amiga me contó que ella tenía planeado irse a Brasil con su novio, pero a lo que su madre no la dejó, se quedó en el país.

• Otra situación, es que alrededor de las 14 me escribió J  para "invitarme a hablar mientras esperábamos a que se aproxime la hora de jugar un partido de vóley arena". Ni siquiera marqué visto el mensaje, ya que sabía por dónde iban los cabos, un "hablamos" y nunca sobre lo que hizo él que requería una charla para entender el por qué de mi distancia hacia él. Contexto: Él había ido una semana y media a la playa con su C  y en todo lo que estuvo, jamás se dignó a escribir nada, esto me amargó bastante, ya que previamente expresé mi disgusto por las amistades que no son constantes ni presentes, por lo que procedí a archivar su chat y silenciarlo (previamente ya habíamos tenido “charlas” donde era el que hablaba de lo que me incomodaba o molestaba y él decía todo que sí y después quedaba en nada, pero bueno, elegí creer).
•  En su cumpleaños (hace casi un mes me había dicho que estaba invitado, claramente no pensaba ir, ya que tuve la operación de mi padre y honestamente todo este asunto y encima de ello tener que hacer como que está todo bien me incomodaba un montón.