u/Playful-Pressure2411

For context I am 18F and my mother is like 45 or something.

About a month ago, my ex bf of 7-ish months and I broke up in an extremely messy way that for literal legal reasons I cannot explain. My mother stood by my side and was an amazing support while I was working through everything.

About 2 weeks ago my friends hosted a bonfire and I met a guy-friend (Collin, 18M) of my girl best friend (Riley, 17F). It was my first time going out after the breakup and Collin was just the sweetest trying to cheer me up. We ended up hanging out a couple times with other mutual friends and then started hanging out 1-on-1. My mother knows that I feel romantically attracted to him and that he is planning on asking me to prom. He also brought flowers over and has been incredibly nice and respectful, and my parents know that.

The real problems started today when I was hanging out with Collin at his house. My mother asked for all of my plans and details so I just told her that I was guessing I’d leave around 3:00 pm. Collin and I watched a movie, grabbed food, and then went to cuddle and talk for a bit when my mother called and asked why I was still at Collin’s when it was 3:05 pm… I just told her that I was still hanging out with him and that I had plenty of time left to stay at his house. At 3:30 she called again, I didn’t answer immediately and it went to voice mail so she did the “find my iPhone” thing where it basically turns your phone into a noisy alarm that is a haste to turn off. As I was trying to call her back, she pinged my phone about 3 more times. I finally got in call with her and told her to stop checking my car’s location (on our car’s app) and that I was 18 years old and I can manage my time on my own. She basically told me that because I stayed past the time I initially told her that my hangout was “turning into something else.” Which made me incredibly frustrated. I tried to explain that Collin and I had just gotten food and were just chatting before I headed out and she hung up on me mid sentence.

I sent her a text in my way out saying that I was sorry but she was being a helicopter parent and spying on my car. I told her that Collin and I’s relationship was between us two and not her. I then called my father asking him to please talk to my mother about respecting my boundaries, he agreed.

This is not the first time she has spied on my car through the app. It happens fairly regularly and sometimes she will even call me mid-drive to ask why my windows are rolled down or why I am watching Netflix in my car. Earlier this week she also called me while I was browsing at Target asking me why I’ve been to Target two days in a row. She also frequently checks my driving history, asking why I went to certain places (it’s usually a clothing store or grocery store).

I am fed up with her bs and I can’t deal with one more call about what I am doing and where I am because I am an adult and going to college across the country this coming August anyway.