Ending a long term relationship in your 40’s
Do you regret ending a long term relationship in your 40’s?
I would like to hear from people who have ended a long term relationship in their 40’s
I’m 40f and my partner is 42m and we’ve been together for almost 5 years. I feel like our relationship has run its course. I care for him and he’s my best friend but I don’t think I want to be in this relationship anymore or any relationship at this time in my life. I’m driving myself crazy going back and forth in my head on if I should end this or not and honestly I’m terrified. I’m terrified to lose that comfort and to lose my person. I’m terrified to be single in my 40’s!
I guess I’m hoping to hear from people who have been in a similar situation. Do you regret ending a relationship in your 40’s?
More detail on why I think this relationship has run its course:
-We don’t live together, he is under the impression that we will eventually be getting a place together (im waiting on my office potentially moving locations next year and I want to live close to my work) I’ve always lived alone and had my own place and I love it. The more I’ve been thinking about it, I don’t think I want to live with him, I haven’t communicated this with yet, I’ve told him that I have reservations about us living together.
-since we don’t live together, I will usually spend the weekends at his apartment. I’ll pack a bag Friday night and spend entire weekend with him at his place, return back to my place Sunday evening. This has been our schedule for almost 5 years and it’s starting to get to me. Even with this schedule, he still thinks we don’t see each other enough. I told him I’m starting to miss my independence (not that I want to date other people) but just my own time to socialize, pursue new hobbies, I literally have no friends! he told me that I get my independence during the week, but during the week I work full time, go to the gym, go to bed early, it’s not enough time for me. I recently told him that I joined a women’s walking group and we are going to meet up on Saturday and do a walk, instead of showing support, his main concern was if it’s every weekend and how much time is this going to take away from him.
-we don’t have sex anymore, this is my longest relationship I’ve ever been in , so I understand that sex isn’t always as exciting when you’ve been together for awhile, but I have no desire to have sex with him anymore. I’m not sure if it’s hormone related or maybe I’m starting to resent him but the desire is gone but he doesn’t even seem to care, he doesn’t ask for it ever or bring it up. I think we maybe had sex twice last year, but I feel like I’m too young to be settling for a sexless relationship.
- communication is not great between us. He grew up in family that didn’t talk about stuff and has even told me that he hates communicating and makes him too uncomfortable. When I try and talk to him about stuff, he just gets really quiet and shuts down, doesn’t really absorb anything I’m saying.