I did it. I moved out
It's been months in the making/planning but today I moved into my new home. Narc husband ended our marriage a week ago after weeks of me grey rocking and his supply (from me at least) dried up. He wanted me out as soon as possible, and wanted me broke. It was the stealth exit I'd planned. He had no idea I had found somewhere already. I knew he would be out for a rare extended period of time today, and used today as the target day. In the weeks leading up I moved smaller items, packed bags and my car. With help from family I have furniture built for my children's rooms, and I finally, *finally* have space to breath and be me, with my kids.
The narc rage hit about 1hr after he realised I'd left. He had enjoyed thinking of me struggling to find somewhere and depleting my savings (which have taken a hit). Knowing I have somewhere, I'm settled and the kids are fine has caused full outbursts. He's already crossing the boundaries I laid out in a letter I left with my keys, is using the kids as guilt trips, gaslighting, name calling, making radical demands and spouting lies like they're gospel.
And yet, despite knowing I have a rough and expensive divorce and custody agreement ahead, I am at peace and hopeful.
I am blessed with a small and mighty network of support and love to buffer me through what will come. I have this beautiful and kind community of narc spouses with sage words of advice and encouragement. And I now have myself again.
The risks taken and struggle ahead is worth it.