Ballmaxxing is actually a good hygiene strategy and I can prove it. (r/196)
Ballmaxxing is actually a good hygiene strategy and I can prove it
Scrotum skin is wrinkly. Wrinkly skin gets dirty easily and is much harder to clean. It also gets itchy and it is difficult to get to the itchy spots. My scrotum in particular also gets large patches of dead skin, which are satisfying but difficult to pick off. If I had enough money, and ballmaxxing wasn't so unhealthy, I'd actually do it just to smooth out the scrotum skin and make it easier to wash/scratch/pick.
The terrible design of the scrotum also proves that there is no god, but the ugliness also defies sexual selection, making it into a scientific mystery. If futa clop (\*My Little Pony\* porn) is an accurate depiction of horsecocks, then horsecocks are actually more appealing than human cocks because the skin on horse balls is nice and smooth. I could help scratch Mommy Octavia Melody's balls, which she would then reward by unlocking my chastity cage and giving me a nursing handjob (I prefer anthro as it is the best of both the human and feral worlds).
A chastity cage not only ensures that Mommy is the only one who can touch me down there, but it also helps protect my penis from the giant, penis-eating hummingbirds that have become quite the menace in Equestria. Saint Colonel Sanders has been doing his best to eradicate the invasive beasts, but it's a one-man effort, and he can't be everywhere at once. As such, it is now mandatory for penised people and ponies alike to wear protective chastity cages when outdoors. Any hummingbird that attempts to eat a chastity cage will break its beak and starve to death.