Somewhere along the way, i lost myself and didn't even notice
I’m 26 and I feel like I’ve completely lost myself.
I used to enjoy things like cricket, movies, hanging out with friends… now I don’t feel anything. It’s like I’m just existing. No excitement, no motivation, nothing. Even things I used to love feel pointless.
My childhood was actually great. I grew up with friends around me, we all came from a lower area but we had fun, real memories, real bonding. Life felt simple back then.
Somewhere along the way, I lost all of that.
I’ve messed up a lot in life. My career didn’t go anywhere, I don’t have a proper degree, my job is low paying, and I feel like everyone my age is way ahead of me. It’s not even jealousy anymore, just emptiness.
About my health everything was normal until 2022 when I found out I had jaundice and also issues like B12 deficiency and Gilbert syndrome. I had to stop drinking completely. Since then, I’ve been more aware of my health, but at the same time it feels like even my escape is gone.
I don’t feel attractive, I don’t feel confident, and I’ve pretty much given up on relationships. Not because I’m trying to be strong, but because I genuinely feel like I have nothing to offer.
Family stuff is always on my mind. My sister is 21, marriage talks are starting, and I feel like I should be doing more, earning more, being more responsible… but I’m not.
I also have issues with my dad. I feel like he didn’t do enough, and I’m scared I’ll end up like him. That thought keeps bothering me a lot. I don’t want to ruin my future like that.
The worst part is I don’t even feel guilt or motivation anymore. Just numb. Like I’m watching my life from outside.
Sometimes I get really dark thoughts about life not being worth it, and it scares me how normal those thoughts are starting to feel. I don’t even know what I want anymore not even marriage, nothing.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me or how to fix this.
Has anyone else felt like this and actually come out of it?
TLDR : I didn’t ruin my life in one mistake.
I let it slip, slowly, quietly, every day.
Now I don’t know how to feel anything again.