I made the guy I like uncomfortable [23F] [29M]
I \[23F\] met Jason, fake names for anonymity cause idk if he’ll see this \[29M\] a few months ago through a mutual friend. I’m new to town and I am starting to set down roots. My friend has been in a relationship for a few years with her boyfriend, and has been trying to help me navigate getting into a relationship as I’ve never had a boyfriend as I’ve always been busy with work,school, personal things, etc. Anyway, I’ve never really been able to approach men in a ‘dating’ sense. My only real interactions have been one night stands, bar PDA, or just dumb frat life things. I’m not used to the whole dating scene.
Well, I met Jason a while ago and I thought we hit it off, but learned he was in an off/on situation with a girl back from where he’s from originally. So I took a step back to meet others, socialize among others, whatever. Things kept always leading back to him, he’d come out to the bars we were at, we’ve hung out a few times now and a few things confused me. He’s expressed some interest but we never got phone numbers or anything.
Cut to now, I got his phone number a while back because we were all thinking about joining a volleyball league. Well, me and my friend went out to a bar with another mutual. This friend had warned me that Jason was not a PDA guy, but mind you, on this excursion, I was drunk as HELL. Not my finest moment, lots of shots, drinks, and dumb crap. We get to the bar we’re meeting them at. It’s loud, cramped, and just kind of a giant mosh pit.
I’m used to these scenes, we get there, he brought to other guys with him. Somehow, in my young party mindset, I think ‘hey, we could totally hit it off tonight’. We strike up a phone texting conversation since it’s too loud to talk. I ask if he wants to kiss/makeout/do ANYTHING. He’s adamant there’s too many people and his friends are there. I’m a persistent drunk, but we end up not doing it. I ask if this is a ‘never’ or ‘not now’ answer. He says ‘not now’. Well after that, about a half hour later we decide we wanna go home since it’s been a long night.
On the drive back, mind you I’m still drunk so remembering it now, I’m embarrassed as hell. I texted him, telling him I was sorry I was forward but I don’t know how else to approach it, and if he wanted to go to the after party it was fine cause I wasn’t gonna go. (Not gonna repeat the whole message, too many spelling errors and embarrassment).
Well, I woke up the next day, saw the notes conversation and the texts, and deleted them all in horror. I totally need to apologize to this guy, but honestly I’m not sure how or if it’s even possible.
I consulted my friend, asking whether I should text an apology or just wait till I see him next. She advised that either is a safe bet, but to be perfectly fair, I believe he deserves an in person apology and possibly a small explanation for them.
My question I guess is whether I should wait to see him again (If I ever do) or just bite the bullet and send a long winded apology he may just delete and never return?
PS. Sorry if this is bad formatting, I’ve always read and seen Reddit stories, but I’ve never posted here before, thanks in advance!