I am new here and I have never spoken to anyone about my parents divorce, where do I start?
20m uk
Ill try not to pour to much but I have known for a while that my parents divorce when I was around 10 has scarred me (im 20 now), I feel bitter that I went through it and it really impacted my ability to socialise in school which lead to bullying and loneliness. I feel like I can pretend to be a normal functioning person (confident and approachable even) now but the truth is I never feel truly comfortable around other people and often feel like im making up social interactions as I go along in an anxious sort of way.
I recently had a bad exam and I found myself crying in the shower in a ball for my mother and the pain was visceral and so much like when I was younger. I have trouble remembering anything from before I was 16 I feel my mind has just blocked it out. I love both my parents, but I struggle with knowing my mother had an affair on my farther with her current husband (I was never meant to find out I overheard it one day), I dont know how to handle the part of me that hates her for hurting my dad.
Sorry for a bit of a trauma dump, im hoping to see a counsellor soon, wondering if anyone has some kind words or advice since im new to exploring this part of myself